An Exquisite Extreme
by IlovetowriteSMP
Summary: Sonny tries to keep Alexis away from Jerry Jacks. SEXIS. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Title** An Exquisite Extreme

**Rating** - T

**Disclaimer**- _these characters belong to someone who is not me, but you knew that already. _

**Note**- _This story is primarily about_ **Sexis**.

_For storyline purposes, Jason was never arrested for killing Lorenzo and Ric does not have custody of Molly._

_All other history is the same as shown on GH. _

_Some of the chapters are not that long in this fic._

**Timeline**- _this story begins after Carly ratted out Alexis to Sonny by telling him that Alexis has a crush on Jerry_.

**This story is also being posted at Breathing is Overrated, so feel free to read it there if you prefer. **

**CHAPTER ONE**

**Alexis drug Milo **through the coffee house by his tie.

"Ms. Davis! Please. I can tell him your message myself."

She had started tugging his tie when he stalled outside the doors of the coffeehouse, and stuttered about Mr. C telling him not to screw up this time. She didn't like getting him in trouble but her need to tell Sonny exactly what she thought of his methodology overruled all other impulses.

"This won't take but a minute," Alexis assured the young bodyguard. She rapped on the door to the office. "I'm coming in, Sonny, so put on hold all your criminal undertakings."

With that said, she flung open the door and spotted him sitting behind his desk. He raised an eyebrow at her as she pulled Milo inside the room.

Alexis shook her head at Sonny in a way that silently said, _You really thought you'd get away with it?_

She dug in her purse. "Here is your camera, your listening device, and the bug you put on my phone." Alexis dropped all the items onto his desk. "And here is the spy you sent. Take it all back because I neither asked for, need nor desire in any way whatsoever your sudden added scrutiny of my affairs."

"Well what did you expect when you take up with the likes of," Sonny shot her a _you are so caught _expression "Jerry Jacks."

His eyes were dark with something that could have been simply worry but looked more like jealously to her. Her eyes widened and for a second she lost her breath. Alexis pushed that thought out of her mind and refocused on the issue at hand.

She ranted "How long did it take Carly to rush over here and tell you that piece of news? Your ex doesn't know what she is talking about, as usual. She's with the man nearly constantly these days, much more so than I am. She's like a high schooler- thinking I want to steal the attention of the new guy in town away from her. But I don't. I could careless about Jerry. No matter what Carly told you. What _exactly_ did she tell you?"

"That you're hyperventilating over him."

"Utterly ridiculous. And even if I was," she looked at Milo and added "which I'm not!"

Milo nodded, nervously.

"Even if I was," Alexis said to Sonny "that is certainly my business and not yours."

Though, the words she spoke were true, Alexis did get a slight thrill out of knowing Sonny gave a damn about who she was dating. But where was all this concern when she fell into a quickie marriage with his own half-brother?

She tried not to let her brain get stuck on deciphering Sonny's motive. That was a train of thought that would only lead her in circles, she was sure.

"Do you even know what kind of man you're dealing with? What he is capable of?" Sonny's jaw clenched. "Jerry's insane and would not hesitate to hurt you if he thought it'd further some plan of his. Don't mess with him. This isn't a game!"

It was nearly impossible for Alexis to hold onto her anger when he was looking at her with such intensity. The heat in his eyes came from frustration right now but it reminded her of another time when he looked at her with those some dark eyes, when they flared with desire and pain and need.

"Don't order me around," she told him. "I'll see who I want." She paused and then asked, her tone more probing than she intended, "Since when do you care?"

"This guy isn't some pansy like Ned or Cameron that you can lead around by the nose."

She unconsciously gripped Milo's tie tighter and exclaimed "I never did that. Those relationships were quite equitable. And, like this one I am not having with Jerry, also none of your business."

Nearly choking, Milo finally broke in and said "Sir, there was no sign of Mr. Jacks while I was at Ms. Davis' home and I don't think there is anything to ..."

They both looked at him. Sonny asked, "What are you still doing in here?"

Milo motioned to his tie.

"Oh!" Alexis said, letting go. She straightened his tie and then patted his chest gently. "You may go now."

The bodyguard gave her a small smile; he looked at Sonny for confirmation. His boss shook his head at him in disgust for blowing this assignment then motioned him out of the room. Milo fled without another word.

Alexis turned back to Sonny. "He's a nice young man. I think Kristina might even have a little crush on him."

Putting both her palms on his desk she leaned closer to him and, letting her voice drop down to a throaty whisper, asked, "But why would you send a boy to do a man's job? You should have known spying on me wouldn't be child's play."

He didn't answer, not right away, instead he just sat there with his eyes locked on hers, looking at her in such a way that she felt exposed, naked, and discovered all at once.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Alexis leaned over the desk, and in a throaty whisper, asked "Why would you send a boy to do a man's job? You should have known spying on me wouldn't be child's play."

Sonny could have told her, in that moment, that he waited a full fifty hours after Carly made her announcement before he dispatched Stan and Milo over to wire the Lake House and keep a discreet eye on Alexis.

That showed remarkable control in his opinion. If not for the constant images that shot through his mind of Jerry conning Alexis, or using her, or abusing her, or kissing her...well, Sonny might have been able to leave it alone but there was only so much he could take.

Jerry was a viper and a coward. He'd hide behind Jax till his dying breath, which if Sonny had anything to say about it, would be coming sooner rather than later.

Sonny stood up and walked around his desk. "I wouldn't have to protect you-"

"Spy on me."

He shrugged in a way that said, _Call it what you want_. Sonny went on, "If you took my advice when I told you to steer clear of that guy."

Her eyes searched his. He let his slide away. This wasn't a time when he could risk her seeing what lay behind his motives.

"I'm just saying...he's trouble. You don't want to see it cause he comes from the same gene pool as your hero Jax but they aren't the same man...not in the least...if you don't want to end up caught in the middle of Jerry's next crime or rampage..."

"Rampage? Come on."

"You hear his accent and think he's just some exotic foreign guy who ..."

She smiled at him and Sonny lost his train of thought.

Alexis urged, clearly amused, "Go on. This is fascinating. Tell me what I think when I hear Jerry's accent. Really. I want to hear this."

He smiled back. "Listen, this is serious."

"Breaking and entering is serious, too. It carries a sentence of 2- 5 years. And that doesn't take into account the illegal wiretapping and stalking by proxy that you are also committed."

"Allegedly."

Alexis rolled her eyes but acquiesced. "Allegedly."

After a moment, she added, "I don't know what you could have been thinking."

_She has no clue how far I'll go to keep her safe_, he thought.

There was no way in hell Sonny would let Jerry weasel his way in Alexis' life. It just wasn't going to happen. He sat back when she married Ric and look how that turned out. It made his stomach turn to think of his brother's hands on her, and then think of how much pain Ric caused her heart. She opened up her soul to him, something that had to be nearly impossible to risk again, and Ric had used her faith against her. Sonny damn sure would never let another man treat her that way.

Alexis gave him a long look and ordered, "No more."

"Then tell me you plan to stay away from him. No trying to get him to bring Jax home for you. No letting Carly drag you into any of her plans. No dates."

"I wouldn't date that man."

"Oh, yeah? Fish sticks and crackers."

Alexis gasped."Carly is such a gossip. She might as well buy billboard space to tell the whole town about my life. Still I can't fathom what would _ever_ have made Carly think you would care."

A pain shot through his chest. It happened every single time she casually mentioned her belief that he didn't have any feelings for her, almost as if it was out of the realm of what she thought was possible. Sonny hated knowing how much he had failed to show Alexis her true worth to him, how she moved right out of his life all those years ago, all the while never knowing she was taking the very light from his world with her.

Sticking his hands in his pockets, Sonny looked down. "You know, that's just Carly. She was trying to deflect attention off of her being around Jerry by telling me you were...whatever. The thing is...you _both_ should stay away from him."

He met her eyes and demanded, "And don't even think about taking the girls within a 1000 feet of that psychopath."

She titled her head and joked, "Would you like to fit me with an electronic ankle monitor now or are you going to have one of your employees sneak in and do it later tonight? Maybe that new one- Hayes- that has the southern drawl...since I like accents, according to you."

XXXXXX

**His dimples came **out as he smiled at her. She wondered if that was why she teased him, just to get a chance to see them.

Still, Alexis wasn't over her anger. It was infuriating to have him prying into her private life. What if he heard or saw something on his surveillance equipment that incriminated her...that let him know what she really felt... that thought alone made her heart speed up and her breathing become shallow.

Nobody else but Sonny would think he was doing you a favor by wiring your home with cameras and planting a bodyguard behind your bushes.

She found herself smiling back at him. For a minute, they were just two people who knew each other too well for their own good. So much that it hurt sometimes.

"I can handle it. Worry about Carly. She needs it more. Whatever I decide to be or not be with Jerry will be my decision, and mine alone, and I will be the one to deal with any consequences and repercussions. Alone. So, goodnight Sonny. You can get back to pretending to order coffee beans now."

She started for the door, aware that his eyes were locked on her retreating figure.

"Take care of yourself, Alexis." There was no way to miss the genuine concern in his tone.

She stopped, looked over her shoulder and said, "Thanks for trying to look out for me but don't _ever _bug my home again. Understood?"

He shrugged, telling her that he couldn't make that promise. "Milo will drive you home."

"I drove Milo here. I can get home on my own. Send someone out for his car."

"You sure you don't want an escort? I'm about done here anyway..."

"I'm fine, Sonny. Really, you're overreacting. Jerry can not be as lethal as you're behaving. And I'm not exactly without the means to defend myself so...it will be fine. Jerry doesn't scare me."

"Don't underestimate him, Alexis."

"Don't underestimate_ me_, Sonny."

After she left, he sat back down behind his desk, picked up his phone and dialed. "Hey, tell me you got word on where Jax is...no? We need him found and it confirmed that he is not being held by any of Jerry's enemies.

"As soon as we do that, I want to move on taking care of this situation, Jason, because as long as Jerry is around they aren't safe. Carly won't listen to me and Alexis is- I'm pretty sure- thinking Jerry's just in need of some affection and he can be saved- like she thought about Ric. But we both know...exactly...its gone beyond that point now."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

Sleep was rapidly becoming an elusive thing for Alexis Davis.

The last month had been hectic and every morning only brought a new drama. Jax left looking for Jerry, then Jerry showed right back up here in town smirking at The Metro Court like this was all some sort of elaborate chess match and the stakes didn't include the very life, happiness and well being of her best friend.

After that Carly drug her into some scheme to elicit information about Jax's whereabouts from his brother- in Alexis' defense she had been drinking the night she agreed to such madness- and now, the topper, Sonny had heard about it all and determined she was in over her head. 

It all added up to many sleepless nights and rushed mornings.

Alexis hurried Kristina outside the moment Voila pulled up the morning after she told Sonny, in no uncertain terms, that she could handle Jerry on her own. She couldn't let Kristina be late for day camp. It might go on her permanent record and it was never too early to worry about such things.

Alexis smiled at Voila and opened the back door to her minivan. "Ahhh!"

The bodyguard with a southern drawl stared back at her.

"Well, hello there, doll. Good morning." Logan sat in the backseat. He flashed her and Kristina a smile. "Here, let me help you up, little one."

"I'm not little. Molly is little. I'm a big girl. Mom tell him."

"Yes, you are." Alexis smiled at her but then jerked her eyes back to the bodyguard. "He sent you."

She could tell Logan was trying to school his expression but there was a little too much charmer in his blood to pull it off.

Voila chimed in, "Mr. Corinthos brought him to my doorstep and insisted I let him accompany me until further notice. I told him the usual guards who follow us in their own car, at a decent distance, were adequate but it seemed Mr. Corinthos believes there is a heightened threat."

Logan was still grinning at them. "I'll take real good care of them, ma'am."

She sighed at the last word. She knew Sonny picked Logan for one reason. To tease her about liking accents.

Alexis bent down next to her daughter. "Daddy sent a new friend to spend some time with you, baby. His name is Logan Hayes and he is going to be extremely nice," she shot him a look "to you and careful around you. Right, Mr. Hayes?"  
"But of course. Wouldn't have this gig if I was any other way."

That sentence really didn't inspire much confidence in Alexis but she helped Kristina into the van anyway. It was only a twenty minute drive. She figured, if worse came to worse, Voila could babysit both of them.

She kissed Kristina's head. "Have a good day at school."

Then to Logan she said, "You give her space. I don't want everyone to wonder why she has a security team stalking her every move."

"My orders are to wait outside the gates of the camp until she finishes and then escort Miss Kristina to Greystone, with her nanny and sister, of course."

Alexis shook her head at the gall of Sonny. She didn't want to go off in front of her daughter so she said "Well, it looks like Mommy will be seeing you this afternoon at Daddy's house. You be good till then."

They pulled off and Alexis stomped back into the house. Sonny's ears would be on fire by the time she got done with him; even now she silently berated him in her mind. She wanted him to be concerned but not to run over her with his overprotectiveness.

Still every thought that she had that started with _The nerve of that man_...was countered by one that went _At least, it shows he cares_... her mind argued back and forth in her own little internal court of law.

XXXXXX

Viola returned alone and went into Molly's nursery to care for the baby.

Alexis headed out to her car, carrying her briefcase, to leave for the office. Marco, another gaurd of Sonny's stood right outside her door. She rolled her eyes at him but hurried past. She was now really running late for her first appointment.

Alexis had started doing pro bona work for a local free legal clinic, while she plotted a way to jerk her job back from the clutches of her ex-husband.

She was lost in her own thoughts when she heard "Morning, counselor."

Alexis stilled and looked up. Sonny leaned against her car, his arms crossed over his chest, and a lazy smile curving up the corners of his mouth.

"You..." she hissed.

His eyes moved over up and down body, making her feel more alive than most other things ever could. She fought to keep her outrage.  
Alexis asked, "What in the world were you thinking?"

"I was thinking you still don't get how dangerous this Jerry fool is."

"So you accost my nanny and fend another gaurd off on her? I don't even really know this Logan Hayes very well, other than meeting him at The Metro Court a few times. Are you sure he can be trusted with our child?"

"Would I send him here if he couldn't? You wouldn't have sent her off with him if you didn't trust that and me, right?"

Alexis raised an eyebrow at him.

Sonny went on, "Even Logan can't screw up riding to and from school with a child. I just want Jerry to know my daughter and her mother are not vulnerable."

Alexis walked close to him. "Anyone ever explain the term overkill to you? What should I expect next? Max stringing up barb wire around the perimeter of my yard?"

He shrugged.

She shook her head.

Sonny smiled.

All the words she planned to scream at him, all the points she planned to make, all the reasons why he was being completely unreasonable flew out of his head as soon as she glimpsed those dimples.

XXXXXX

He watched her eyes flare with a flash of emotion. Was it frustration? Anger?

Whatever it was, Sonny loved getting her riled up. Seeing fire shoot into her eyes took him right back to the old days.

Back then he never doubted she actually did, underneath it all, like having him in her life. They offered each other a kind of understanding no one else could in those days.

Now he couldn't be sure she felt anywhere close to the same. Did she see her sister laying dead in his warehouse every time she looked at him? 

If he pushed too much she could lessen her opinion of him even more than it was now- if that was at all possible. He didn't want to cause that to happen but it would be worth the risk if she would stay safe from the likes of Jerry Jacks.  
Sonny hadn't gotten a decent's night sleep at night since the moment Carly said Alexis was falling for Jerry. That couldn't be true. And if it was, Sonny planned to put a stop to it right quick.

For the sake of Alexis not getting hurt again. He couldn't watch another man break her heart. He'd done it himself and watched Ned do it when he took Kristina away, and Ric do it when he cheated on her. No one else was getting another chance.

Even if he had to stand between her and every other idiot in this town for the rest of their lives. And even if he never did tell Alexis just why her happiness meant so much to him.

She asked, "What are you even doing here? Don't tell me. You came to check that Jerry didn't spend the night? Come on, Sonny, whatever you think you are doing...helping me, protecting me, trying to tell me my own mind and heart, whatever it is- stop. Stop."

"Not gonna happen till Jerry is gone or you admit he just don't belong in your life. Say those words and I'm out of here."

Alexis moved past him, opened her car door and tossed her briefcase inside.

Looking over the roof of the car, she threw at him "I think you're bored."

His eyes narrowed.

"That's why you suddenly have all this spare time to obsesses about what isn't going on in my love life. I would think with Jax out of town you would be back to chasing down that lost love of yours- Carly. About time for another reunion, right?" Alexis asked "Or Kate. Yes. Kate. Concentrate on saving her from some imaginary danger, why don't you?"

"Kate don't know Jerry. You do. Kate isn't stubborn. You are. Kate isn't going to get herself killed by some psycho. You could."

"You could be sued for slander if you keep calling him a psycho without an abundance of evidence to prove your slur."

"You gonna testify against me?"

"No time. I have a job to get to. I'll be over after work to get my girls. Don't even think about sending Logan home with me tonight. I don't like accents to that degree."

Alexis climbed into the driver's seat. Sonny slid into the passenger one.

"May I ask," her eyes narrowed at him "what you think you're doing?"

Nonchalantly, he told her, "It'll be like I am not even here."

"Yes, it will be like that, Sonny. Because you won't be here. Get out."  
He put on his seatbelt.

She was getting his help, because he wouldn't be good for anything else as long as he was worrying about her.

Alexis didn't get that, Sonny knew, but the fact that she couldn't know everything that he kept hidden within himself didn't change what he had to do- protect her for as long as she needed, for as long as he was able, no matter what that meant he had to do.

She would give in and admit Jerry was best out of her life- far, far, from her and her children. There was no two ways to look at it.

He had always enjoyed negotiating with her but it was time for Alexis to learn that sometimes some things were just non-negotiable. Like saving her life.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Stubborn. The man was just plain stubborn sometimes. Check that. Nearly _all _the time.

Sonny ignored every word of the protest lecture she gave on the way to work. Alexis felt it was ridiculous she should have to promise not to see Jerry. It was her private life and Sonny had no right to dictate to her how to conduct it. None of her many arguments and valid points affected him in the least.

Alexis climbed out of the car and said to him, "Call a cab. Because you aren't coming into this office with me and you aren't guarding the door all day and you certainly aren't riding home with me when I'm finished, so you might as well just leave now."

He followed her towards the door.

Alexis spun around. "You're embarrassing me."

Sonny looked in every direction. "In front of who? These pigeons?"

"Go home."

"Come with me."

Her eyes widened as she sucked in a breath.

Sonny quickly added, "Listen, its not like it would need to be forever...or even for long...a day or two then Jerry won't be a problem anymore, trust me on that one."

"Shh!" Alexis leaned close and whispered, " Don't even think about telling me you're sending Jason out to do his hitman thing on Jerry!"

"Did I say that?"

She went on, as if he hadn't spoken, "Because as an officer of the court I would have a duty to report you to the proper authorities, no matter how I feel about you personally."

"And we both know you don't feel all that generous when it comes to overlooking my alleged criminal ways."

"I wouldn't put it that way, at all. But you can only tempt fate so many times, Sonny."

"That's what I am trying to tell you." He took a breath and then threw out, "You got out easy with Ric..."

Her mouth dropped. "You call that _easy_?"

"Compared to what Carly went through, yeah."

"Carly, the ultimate exaggerator, who knows what really happened with that."

Sonny met her eyes and held them for a moment. "I know what happened. It was disgusting and all motivated by his need to take something from me. To best me. To steal what I loved most and make it his- my unborn child. And he could have done far worse to you if..." his words stalled.

"If what?" Her eyes searched his, wondering what he knew that she didn't.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_If he knew what it would do to me_, Sonny answered silently. But there was no way he would say that to her.

Right now she was annoyed with him, and wouldn't probably believe him anyway. Why should she really? He destroyed all her faith in him to tell the truth, to do the right thing, to put her first in the moment he told her he wanted to go back to Carly instead of being with her.

His demons, his guilt, his regrets controlled Sonny's choices back then. The need to be the man who kept his family together, unlike Mike did. The need to not make what he did to Jason be for nothing. The need to prove that Carly wasn't his biggest mistake ever...that it could all be fixed, somehow. All of that drove him far away from the only arms that had ever made him feel whole.

He couldn't explain that aloud then or now. Hell, he hadn't even really known it until he got on medication and into therapy.

On some level he always did but that place was one that could be drowned out by booze, and noise, and sex and yelling at anyone who got in his way. Now all those vices were gone...but still Alexis was inside of him...and there was no defenses left to lessen the ache of letting her down; there was only the chance to never do it again.

She has just asked him, "_If what?"_

"If," Sonny said "you didn't get away from Ric when you did. That divorce saved your life so don't...come on...seriously, don't go throwing it away now on Jerry. Leave him to me."

"I'll see who I want, Sonny."

"Stop being so..."

"What? Strong? Not someone you can order around or control or dictate to. I will not be moving to Greystone. That thought is ridiculous. You can't send me up to my room cause you think I'm misbehaving or give me a curfew. That might have worked on Carly..."

"Nah, it didn't.. But, hey, I had to give it a try, right?" He grinned at her.

Slowly a smile curved her lips.

Sonny let out a breath. It was a hot day in late July, the sun warmed his skin, and he was standing here arguing with Alexis Davis. Not a bad way to spend a day, in his book.

XXXXXXXXX

There he goes again- smiling. How could she be expected to think straight when he did that?

And she did need to think straight, to figure out a way to get this man to stop dogging her every step. Why was she his new pet project? Wasn't Carly the only woman he every felt was worthy of being obsessed over?

Had he really given that up when Carly married Jax? Alexis thought it unlikely. And so what if he did? It didn't mean he wanted to be with Alexis again.

_Don't even think that way_, she warned herself, _Has he said anything about being with you? No, he hasn't. You are supposed to be trying to get him to leave you alone not pull him closer. _

_Don't lose focus now. But his smile...they should outlaw that smile...maybe there is a law somewhere on the books...flirting in the first degree, perhaps...flirting with no intention to commit fornication...I could make a citizen's arrest right now_.

"Counselor," Sonny broke into her thoughts. "aren't you late for work?"

He opened the door for her.

She gave him a look that said, _You aren't really staying here, are you?_

He nodded then motioned for her to go inside.

Under her breath, she said through gritted teeth. "This is unnecessary. I don't need a bodyguard."

"Think of me as a guy who just happens to like spending time with you." Sonny winked at her.

She glanced at her watch. _Damn it!_

There was no more time to waste on arguing with this infuriating man. Her first appointment of the morning had been kept waiting long enough already. Alexis walked into work and her human shadow followed.

XXXXXXXXX

**Three and a half hours **later, she had enough. Alexis couldn't concentrate with him sitting twenty feet away, in a spare office chair, never taking his eyes off her. She worked in a small cubicle and had insisted, loudly when he tried to fight her on it, that he couldn't be close enough to hear her conversation with her clients.

She also warned him that she could always take out a restraining order on him. But they both knew she wouldn't.

What did he think would happen? Jerry would come in here with guns blazing? Or, worse, a bouquet of flowers? Sonny could give her some credit.

She didn't have any interest in pursuing a romance with Jax's brother. She had thought maybe it was possible when he was known as Mr. James Craig- that man was intriguing. But Jerry Jacks, the Metro Court hostage taker and the one breaking Jax's heart and putting his life at peril, no, that man was not someone she could let down her gaurd around. But she wasn't about to tell Sonny that and let him think she was blindly following his commands.

After her last client left, Alexis looked across the rundown free legal clinic and let her eyes connect with Sonny's. For a moment, she didn't speak.

His dark eyes held a challenge aimed at her. But she couldn't be sure just what it was. To get rid of him? To try and like him or hate him or want him in her bed again? To not be affected at all? What was he daring her to do?

It was intoxicating to gaze into them for too long, and more danger than she'd let into her world for a very long time.

"Lets," Alexis said, with a resigned sigh, "go get some lunch. I'm done here for today."

She grabbed her purse and headed for the door without waiting for a response. But she moved a little to slow, and ended up seeing the smile that curved his lips.

"Works for me, counselor. I know this little Italian place."

"I'm sure you do."


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Sitting at lunch an ache started to form in Alexis' chest. Everything was going wonderful, and that is what hurt like hell.

Sonny ordered their food and wine. When she protested that she was all grown up and had been making her own food choices for years now, he simply said _"I got it. Let me take care of you."_

_Damn, did he have to make it sound so seductive_? she wondered as her body started to heat up and indecent thoughts assaulted her mind. She fought to push them out.

They fell into a conversation about Kristina first, of course, but soon they were talking about the region in Italy where the wine they were drinking was produced. She's visited there at twenty-one when business took Stefan to the area at the same time as she had a break from school. Alexis found herself describing the town to Sonny as if they were planning to go there one day- you must see, don't miss that.

But he would probably never make it there, she knew. Always another crime or another shoot-out to get into closer to home. And even if Sonny did end up one day watching the sunset over some off- the-beaten path Italian vineyard , she most certainly would not be sitting next to him.

That was decided years ago.

Alexis set down her fork, no longer in the mood for her gourmet lunch, and blurted out "Shouldn't you be with Carly right now?"

Sonny's eyes darkened. "Why?"

"Because...well, isn't she just as much- no, more really- danger from Jerry? That boat ride, her need to find Jax, the cops are trying to pin Lorenzo's murder on Jason still and she said something about needing Jerry's help clearing him. Jerry should watch out for her, truth be told. Carly would send her husband's brother up the river like that if it meant Jason would get away with another crime. So, shouldn't you be staking out Carly's door, dragging _her_ to your home to be held hostage until she starts to think straight and do as you demand?"

"Jason will deal with Carly. He always does. Its his thing."

"His thing?" She smiled. "Coping with the insane- a Jason Morgan special along with making bodies disappear and severing very thin wires 100 feet up in the sky in order to make expensive one- of- a- kind statues crash through three floors of a mansion."

"How'd you hear about that one?"

"Kate and I had coffee one day."

Sonny make a choking sound and grabbed his water. The waiter came by and he raised his hand. "Another bottle of wine, buddy."

"He's kidding," Alexis assured the waiter. When he left she said, "I thought you weren't drinking that much these days?"

He nodded, silently admitting he had been cutting back. "Do I even want to ask how you heard? Kate again?"

"Carly that time."

He shook his head at her in a way that said he found this information to be quite unsettling.

She said, "Women talk. What did you expect? We all live in this same town. Its not like we invited Amelia over and had ourselves a 'Lets Dissect Sonny' dinner party."

His eyes flashed with horror at the thought. He was afraid to even ask who told her about him and Amelia.

Alexis laughed.

Sonny's deep dark eyes softened. She was amazed the sound of her laugher could still make that look come over his face, make him relax and seem carefree for a second.

The laughter faded into a sigh for her as she remembered why she didn't hang out with Sonny anymore. It wasn't because of his anger over her lie about Kristina. It took a while but he moved past that, she saw it in his eyes the day it happened and then it was confirmed when she got sick and he came to visit her. As hard as it was to even breath then, it was just as hard to see him worried about her.

No, she didn't keep her distance now over anger- hers or his. It was because spending a little time together would lead to wanting to spend a lot of time together and where would she be then? Wanting what she could never have. Wondering why she wasn't who he loved. Back to a place she never wanted to venture into again. Those feelings were like the desert, like Death Valley. Desolate, harsh, unforgiving. Nothing good came out of a place like that.

Being too happy with Sonny today, at this one lunch, could lead to years of being unhappy alone.

Alexis stood up. "Why don't you handle the bill and I'll bring the car around?"

Sonny motioned at her unfinished meal. "Sit. Come on, eat. Don't you like it?"

"I love it." _But that doesn't mean anything, does it? It doesn't mean I can keep you by my side..._she thought

He said, "So...sit."

His eyes searched hers, she darted her gaze away. Her posture stiffened even more.

"I'd like to go pick up Kristina and Molly now. We have some shopping to do this afternoon. New shoes. That always takes forever." She turned and left before he could get in another word.

XXXXXXXXX

Sonny watched her walking away.

Within a minute the whole mood of the lunch changed. He knew it was partly because they started talking about the other women in his life, but that wasn't the major thing that put a disappointed look into her eyes.

It was him.

Somehow she had started thinking of all the ways he let her down. A frustrated breath escaped Sonny's lips.

He could tell Alexis caught herself feeling too good around him. Can't have that. Then it would almost be like they were friends again.

Even if she wanted that, Alexis was smart enough to know they were beyond the point where either could settle for just friends. It was everything or nothing. And, because of his own choices, it was now nothing. She might have wanted more once, he doubted she did now.

Her brain ruled her actions these days and Sonny knew that in her brain he would forever come up short. He would be the man she didn't want to raise a child with, the man who got her sister killed, the man who turned his back when she needed him to open his arms.

He started to think about all the what-ifs. His thoughts didn't go here often, because it was the first step to the blackness and he finally wanted to avoid that dark pit, instead of crawl down into it like he had for years.

_What if I could convince Alexis I'm different now? That I know how good we were...that I wouldn't ever let her fall down without me there to hold her up again...what if I could ..._

He settled up with the waiter and walked out toward the car. Alexis was on her cell phone. She clicked it off quickly. Too quickly.

Sonny got in the car. His jaw clenched.

She started the car.

He placed his hand on top of hers as she tried to shift the vehicle into reverse. Slowly, her eyes turned to meet his.

A silent moment passed. She tried to play it off. He wouldn't let her.

Alexis said, "What?" but her tone admitted she knew he was on to her. "Oh, please! How in the hell did you know? Fine. Yes, that was Jerry. He wanted to take me to dinner at the Metro Court but I told him no. I don't think the three of us would have all that good of a time together. And I'm sure you would show up about five minutes after we sat down. That is if I could manage to ditch you before then..."

Sonny said, "I told you that guy was hot for you."

"Hot for? I seriously doubt it. He's working some sort of agenda; though I don't know what it is yet. Not that I care either. As long as he doesn't let Jax get hurt and stays away from Nikolas I don't really give a damn what Jerry Jacks does. In fact..."

Alexis looked right into Sonny's eyes "I promise not to see him again. There. You got what you wanted. Now you don't have to babysit me anymore. Leave the added guards on the kids, if you have to. I'll be fine on my own. Won't go anywhere near Jerry ever again. So..." She hesitated.

Sonny opened his mouth to say something, anything that might get her to not push him away but Alexis spoke again before he could.

She said, through a tight little smile, "You're free."

_Free. Free. Free, _ran through his mind_, I'm free to leave her alone. Freaking good for me._

It was as if a boulder was sitting on his chest, it hurt to breath and he couldn't think about anything other than the fact she was going back to her regular routine and he had no place in that world she created for herself.

(_**I guess I won't be coming around**_

_**I guess it's over, baby**_

_**It's really over, baby**_) ( Chicago)

XXXXXX

He was staring into her eyes, not breathing, not even moving a muscle.

Alexis knew she needed to look away, start the car, and drive him home. Back to his life. Back to what he chose for himself. She knew she needed to stop fooling herself by thinking he regretted that choice. But in his eyes right now there was regret, longing and pain.

It made her lose her breath. She stuttered out, shakily, "So...that's that...I won't go by Jerry anymore...and you can stop following me around."

"Great," Sonny answered with any enthusiasm.

"Good."

"Wonderful." Now she swore she heard bitterness.

His hand still covered hers on the gear shift. She looked down at their hands and said "I need to..."

"Oh, right. Sure. Sure," he lifted his hand and his whole body moved away from her. Sonny faced forward, and their connection was broken.

She felt the loss of him immediately. It was like he slid deep inside of himself and she was left abandoned- with him once again thinking, due to her own words and actions- that was how she wanted it to be.

(_**And from what you said I know you've gotten over me**_

_**It'll never be **_

_**the way it used to be.**_

_**So if it's gotta be this way**_

_**don't worry, baby I can take the news okay.**_

_**But**_

_**if you see me walking by and the tears are in my eyes **_

_**look away, baby, look away.**_

_**And if we meet on the street someday **_

_**and I don't know what to say**_

_**look away, baby, look away .**_

_**Don't look at me. I don't want you to see me this way **_)

_We were broken five years ago_, Alexis thought as she started to drive away from the restaurant, _and nothing either of us says now can change that. _

_XXXXXXXXX_

Sonny kept his eyes on the windshield. His mind was lost in memories. It used to be so easy to talk to her. Alexis used to know what he was thinking without him saying a word. Now she doubted his motives, feelings, and didn't have a real clue about his heart. Sonny knew where to place the blame- squarely on himself- and that made him feel sick.

_**(When we both agreed as lovers **_

_**we were better off as friends **_

_**that's how it had to be.**_

_**Yeah, that's how it had to be.**_

_**I tell you I'm fine **_

_**but sometimes I just pretend.**_

_**Wish you were holding me.**_

_**Wish you were still holding me, oh, oh **_)

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Alexis hated even thinking about this. The pain from Sonny ending them, with just one sentence, never seemed to lessen no matter how many years went by. She didn't expect it to either. It didn't hurt less now to remember how her mother died, how her sister Kristina was taken from her not once but twice, how Sam lost her daughter at birth...nothing lessened...Stefan, Zander,...it wasn't easier now. And knowing Sonny could give up on them for Carly...that would sting till her last breath.

( _**I just never thought that I would be replaced so soon.**_

_**I wasn't prepared to hear those words from you.**_

_**I know I wanted to be free.**_

_**Yeah, baby, this is how we wanted it to be.**_

_**But**_

_**if you see me walking by **_

_**and the tears are in my eyes **_

_**look away, baby, look away. **_

_**Don't look at me I don't want you to see me this way) (Chicago)**_


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

A half an hour later, Sonny walked Alexis out to her car as she left Greystone with Kristina and Molly. She held Kristina's hand; he carried Molly.

A car full of guards would follow them, while Marco rode in the car with them and later stood gaurd at the lake house.

Sonny said, "This whole situation will be handled in a few days and you can get rid of the extra security. You got my word."

Alexis gave him a tight smile. "Fine."

He sensed she still was just as upset at it as she had been at the restaurant. There was no doubt, in his mind, that he let her down. The how wasn't really important. Whatever it was this time- stifling her, arguing with her too much or not enough- it just added to the whole list of ways he had disappointed this woman already in their lives.

(_**Adia,**_

_**I do believe I failed you.**_

_**  
Adia,**_

_**I know I let you down.**_

_**  
Don't you know I tried so hard  
to love you in my way?  
**_

_**It's easy- let it go)  
**_

Still, he hated to see her leave right now. She probably wouldn't be back again unless she needed him to sign some papers for Kristina's school. He found it extremely pathetic that he had to base his chances to see Alexis on if a field trip or dance recital came up.

Alexis reached out and took Molly from him. The gesture felt intimate- like a traditional family instead of a fractured one.

"Bye, Molly baby," he murmured to her. Then looking into the backseat of the car, Sonny told Kristina "Good-bye, sweetie. You be good for your mom while you're shoe shopping. Try on only..." he smiled "a couple hundred pairs or so. No more than that, you understand?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Alexis caught his eye. Hers were light again as she shook her head at him. "I will get you back for that one. When you least expect it..."

"Good luck. Haven't you heard I'm untouchable?" he joked

"That's not what they call you down in the D.A's office."

"Oh yeah? What cute little nickname did _you _think up for me?"

"Not me, and believe me you do not want to know."

She smiled and his breath caught.

Sonny looked down, willing himself to not do this, not to want her. It would just put him on a path that ended with her giving him a thousand concrete reasons why they couldn't work out, none said aloud, it would just come with one look. And him falling into a bottle for a few more years. He knew he needed to just concentrate on protecting her from Jerry and not on why Alexis didn't want to be in his life anymore than was absolutely necessary as co-parents.

She slid Molly into her car seat then turned to look at him again. "So, the stalking is off then?"

"The personal protection detail is off for now. But if Jerry comes back around you..."

"Sonny."

"Then I'll be back around you, too."

"Sonny."

"What?"

Their eyes warred with each other. Alexis broke first, she sighed. "Well, you can't dedicate your life to being my bodyguard so I guess I will just have to call off this great big imaginary love affair I had going with Jerry Jacks. Shame. Cause it was going to be our pretend third date the next time we didn't go out...and you know what third dates mean, don't you?"

He raised an eyebrow as his mind tormented him with images of her mouth blazing a trail of open mouthed kisses from his jaw to his abs to his...

Alexis joked, "Fish sticks and champagne."

Sonny chuckled.

She moved around him toward the driver's side door. "See you around. Keep brewing that coffee and ducking that gunfire." She opened the door and got in.

"Sure thing, counselor."

He watched as she pulled out of the driveway and drove away. In that moment, it felt like she would never be back. Though he knew she would, yet not for long, not to stay.

(_**Adia,**_

_**I'm empty since you left me  
trying to find a way to carry on**_

_**  
I search myself and everyone  
to see where we went wrong**_

Cause there's no one left to finger  
there's no one here to blame  
there's no one left to talk to, honey  
and there ain't no one to buy our innocence)

XXXXXXXXXX

**Alexis glanced in the rearview mirror **as she pulled out of the estate.

She could see Sonny standing there, hands in his pockets, with a lost and longing expression on his face. His eyes stayed on her car until the vehicle with the bodyguards pulled out and blocked his view.

She told herself she was reading more into it than was there. If anything, he was looking so upset like that over the danger her daughters could face from Jerry. No one could ever deny Sonny loved his children, and his family.

It was women he had the problem loving. Relationships require trust and Alexis knew he lost that in Brenda and Carly long before it was actually over for good with them. Maybe Kate would be different; Alexis doubted it though. None of those women were his friends- they were conquests and good times and something to occupy him for a while.

She had been his friend. If she hadn't fallen in love with him, Alexis knew, she would still be his friend. But that love, she wouldn't trade it for the world.

Still, at times like this, when she had to leave him and go on alone, it was near impossible to not wish things could have turned out different. He needed her, she knew that. But he made his choice, years ago. He might need her, but he didn't want her, and so the only sane thing to do was not want him back.

For years that is what she tried to do- to stop loving him. It hadn't worked yet but there was nothing else to do but keep trying. Because if there was one thing Alexis Davis was sure of, it was that Sonny didn't love her, want her, or spend sleepless nights replaying them rolling around a set of black satin sheets like she did.

He was over it and her. So much for friendship and love and forever. Those were all messages on the inside of a greeting card to her now, not anything she could hope to get from the man she gave her heart to.

_**(I thought we could make it.**_

_**  
But I know I can't change the way you feel.**_

_**  
I leave you with your misery-  
a friend who won't betray.**_

_**  
**_

_**I pull you from your tower;  
I take away your pain**_

_**and show you all the beauty you possess  
if you'd only let yourself believe that**_

_**we are born innocent.  
Believe me, Adia, we are still innocent.**_

_**  
It's easy. We all falter, does it matter?)**_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Around 10 pm that night**, Carly cruised pass the gaurd on Alexis porch, throwing Marco a flirty smile, and flung open the door to the lake house.

Alexis was working on legal briefs at the nearby table. She pulled down her glasses and regarded Carly with annoyed eyes. "Have you not ever heard of manners? Knock. Knock. Who's there? Crazy ass Carly. Go away," she mocked. "See? That would have worked much better."

"Ha," Carly replied dryly. "No time for knocking or your lame attempts at humor. I have a new plan to get Jerry distracted so I can plant a bug in his hotel room and overhear his conversations so we can find out where Jax is."

"And that brought you here because of what? Just send one of your maids in there to do it."

"No! Jerry could have bought them all off."

"Then send Max. He's like a starved puppy in your presence."

"I thought you wanted Jax home as much as I do?"

"I do, Carly. Believe me, I don't like that my best friend is in God-knows-where dealing with God-knows- how many criminals and other nefarious types but I can't be involved with this anymore."

The blond pouted.

Alexis said, "That doesn't work on women."

"Did Jax call you? He did, didn't he! That's why you aren't interested in helping me to find out if Jerry knows where he is."

"Jax didn't call me. I wish he had. I simply have come to believe that Jerry Jacks is more trouble than is safe to bring into my and my children's lives. He held Sam hostage, for God sakes, not once but twice. I only ever agreed to help you because you caught me at a weak moment."

Carly walked over and sat down at the table. She studied Alexis with probing eyes.

Nervously, Alexis asked "What? What? Do I have something on my face?"

"He got to you."

"No one got to me."

"He got to you and ordered you to not help me, didn't he?"

"Why don't you redirect all that advanced brain power you are wasting on trying to figure out my motives and Jerry's secrets into something productive? I hear basket weaving is in fashion this season."

"Sonny didn't tell you to back off?" Carly answered her own question. "Of course he did! He thinks Jerry is ruthless and he's probably right. But Jax is worth the risk to me. I thought you felt the same way. I thought you cared about him. Or was that only when it is convenient for you, when you can get something out of him instead of having to give something?"

"Jax isn't a toddler who wandered off into the woods. He's gone because he chooses to be gone. If I thought he was kidnaped or brainwashed or shipwrecked I would be out there beating the bushes for him right now. But he's not...so I can't help you. Sorry."

Carly jumped up."Fine! But letting Sonny run your life is a sure way to end up miserable and trapped."

"You sure keep going back to the miserable buffet and the trapped wet bar. It can't be that bad."

Carly shook her head at her. "You just don't know..."

Alexis said in exasperation, under her breath, "I wonder why that is."

Carly narrowed her eyes at her. "You're raising a kid with Sonny. You have to be stronger than this. You can't let him run your life."

"You confuse strong with loud. Brave with reckless. Love with sex. Need I go on?"

"Spare me, please. You"ll have to get stuck in an elevator with me again before I will sit still for any lessons about how to live my life from you. I have to go and find my husband- on my own, thanks to his best friend who won't lift a finger to help me."

Carly stormed out.

Alexis was left wondering if she had just let Jax down. There wasn't a line she wouldn't cross to help him. But did he even need help and could Jerry even give them any answers?

She decided to hire the best private investigator she could find to search for Jax and stick to her promise to Sonny to stay away from Jerry. Because if she didn't Sonny would be back again, playing her shadow once more, and she knew the only thing that kept her from falling deeper in love with him, over all these years, was not seeing him everyday, let alone every second of everyday.

She couldn't handle that. Not if she wanted to keep her heart from breaking at the knowledge he did not want her back.

_**(It's easy, **_

_**we all falter **_

_**but does it matter**_?) ( Sarah McLachlan)

XXXXXXXXX

**Hours Later**

**Sonny** was standing outside on his patio, staring at the night sky, lost in memories of when Alexis believed he was a good man, a good friend, someone who made her life crazier, her breathing erratic, and her heart rate fly. It used to be so easy between them, so natural.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Alexis** looked at her window at the moon. She used to wish on it when she was a little girl. _Please someone come and take me away from here, _she would say after a particularly cruel episode with Helena. _Please someone need a little girl to love_.

She was too old to wish on it now, or to cry over what would never be.

_Ring. Ring._

"Hello."

"Did I wake you up, counselor?"

"I don't sleep anymore, Sonny."

"Molly keeps you up?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes not. You know how it is when your mind can't shut off." She sighed. "Did you call to ask about Jerry? The coast is clear. If he ever had the hots for me, which I highly doubt, they went cold and he hasn't been around tonight."

"Good." A long silence filled the line. "I was thinking..."

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about you."

Alexis stilled, and then immediately started silently telling her mind to not jump to any conclusions.

But it was jumping, and her breathing was quickening, and her heart was off to the races. Her whole body, mind, and spirit were reacting to the soft, deep sound of his voice. His words repeated in her head

_thinking about you, thinking about you, thinking about you._

She asked, "What were you thinking about me?"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**It was after midnight **when the phone rang at the lake house. Alexis rushed to answer it, thinking _Who calls this late when it is not an emergency? Oh, God, what kind of emergency happened and to who._...the list of names of people she loved was flying through her mind when she said "Hello."

Sonny's seductively low voice filled the line, its tone relaxed and loose. Its affect on her immediately made her feel like she was sipping a glass a wine that was smooth and sweet and left her craving more. Sonny was easy to get addictive to...and hard to ever get over.

_**(He drowns in his dreams  
an exquisite extreme I know.**_

_**  
He's as damned as he seems  
and more heaven than a heart could hold.**_

_**  
And if I try to save him  
my whole world could cave in.**_

_**  
It just ain't right.  
It just ain't right.)  
**_

After a few minutes of idle chit-chat a long silence hung between them before Sonny said, "I was thinking..." he let the sentence die there.

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about _you_."

His words repeated in her head _thinking about you, thinking about you, thinking about you._

She asked, "What were you thinking about me?"

_And why_, she wondered. _Do you always think about me? Or just tonight? Is this the first time in five years, except for when you cursed me after you learned I kept your child from you. Surely you thought about hating me then, but somehow, you found a way not to in the end. Thankfully._

_I couldn't live with you hating me. My compromising can only go so far...my settling takes me only up to a point...you may not love me, Sonny, but don't ever hate me. And, oh yeah, what is it you were thinking?_

"Alexis, um, uh...well, counselor, the summer is coming to an end soon and I haven't even taken Kristina out on my boat yet. I was thinking we could go out tomorrow."

"She has camp tomorrow."

"After camp."

"That sounds fine. Make sure she wears a life jacket and sun screen and water wings. Take plenty of

bottled water because she tends to dehydrate when the temperatures soars and its been blistering hot outside lately. Also, don't forget..."

"Before this list gets any longer, maybe I should mention that I was figuring you and Molly should join us."

He said it in an overly casual way that made Alexis think he had more in mind that a simple outing on the lake.

(_**Oh, I don't know  
I don't know what he's after.**_

_**  
But he's so beautiful,  
such a beautiful disaster.**_

_**  
And if I could hold on  
through the tears and the laughter  
would it be beautiful?**_

_**  
Or just a beautiful disaster?)**_

"I don't know," she said "I do have my work obligations."

"Volunteer work."

"Its still very important to me and the people I help. If not for that free legal clinic plenty of people would get no legal representation at all. Not everyone can afford the best like you, Sonny."

"I haven't had the best since you were my lawyer, Alexis."

She smiled. "Diane is very competent."

"Oh, yes, very." He said in a tone that made her picture him rolling his eyes. Diane was damn good, but she wasn't Alexis.

They both knew that Diane would never be what Alexis was to him. Diane would do her job, well, and go home to her real life. Alexis had made Sonny the biggest part of her life when she worked for him- because with him is where she felt most like herself.

"You could work a half day," Sonny suggested. "So, what do you say? Spend the afternoon with me so I can see my favorite girls. I don't get as much time with Kristina as I do my sons and I barely ever see my niece. I would think you, if anyone, could understand why family is everything I care about and everything I can't afford to take for granted cause...you know, you just never know when...your time will run out."

"This isn't about finding a way to occupy my time so I can't sneak off to see Jerry, is it?"

"Do you sneak off to see him?"

"No. But you are the suspicious type."

"Only because I have to be to stay alive."

"Is this about Jerry then? Because you know I wasn't lying to you when I said I will keep my distance from him. In fact, I told Carly that very thing a few hours ago. Seems your ex is still intent on shaking Jerry's tree till Jax falls out. But I don't think that is an all that effective way to deal with this situation. If Jerry is indeed as dangerous as you proclaim, which he may or may not be-"

"This isn't about Jerry."

"Oh."

Sonny let out a long breath. "Is it so hard to believe I want to spend one afternoon with you like any normal family would do?"

"We have never been normal."

"First time for everything. Listen," Sonny said " now that Ric is gone from your house..."

"Ric? What does this have to do with him?"

She never could understand what Sonny felt about her and Ric getting together, sleeping together, having a child together, and then the inevitable house of cards crashing down...the fake fantasy destroyed in an instant in the cruelest way possible.

After she had already forgiven so much from Ric- too much- he still couldn't treat her decently...couldn't put her above himself. Did it bother Sonny? Keep him up at nights, knowing it was his brother than did her that wrong? Or was it outside of what he even cared about at all? Alexis couldn't be sure.

Sonny went on, " And Carly is out of my bed, forever this time. Its time we work on this...on what is most important in all of this mess we've made of things."

_Work on this...on what?_ She wondered as thoughts flew through her mind. _Us?_

She worked on trying to not hyperventilate. Alexis collapsed onto her couch, her hand on her heart. _Yep, it's beating a mile a minute, _she confirmed.

After a pause, Sonny said, "The kids. They are what matters most, right? Just that they are happy. Even if you have to grit your teeth and break down and spend more time with me, can you do it? Its summer and I want to make at least a few decent memories for Kristina to look back on."

He made it sound like she hated being around him. Alexis stifled a laugh. He couldn't be more wrong. The only thing she hated was going home alone afterwards.

_**(He's magical myth-**_

_**as strong as what I believe.**_

_**  
A tragedy with  
more damage than a soul should see.**_

_**  
And do I try to change him?**_

_**  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
Hold on tight)  
**_

"Counselor, don't make me beg."

She laughed. "Have you ever begged anyone for anything? Does Micheal Corinthos Jr, alleged but never convicted crime lord, beg?"

His tone was full of sex when he asked, "Would you like me to beg?"

_I would like that very much_, she answered silently but said aloud "Not necessary. A boat ride in the afternoon sounds lovely. Sure. Why not?"

"_Why not_? Couldn't you have just started with that answer?"

"Getting there is half the fun."

"What is the other half?" he asked

"What you do when you get there, of course."

"Of course," Sonny agreed.

She knew it was dangerous to be liking this conversation as much as she was, to be thinking about how she wanted to talk to him like this everyday, to be praying he wanted the same thing from her. She tried to get her heart and mind in sync again but it didn't work. For now her brain was on mute, and her heart had the controls.

And there had never been any doubt what her heart wanted: Sonny.

_**Oh, cuz I don't know  
I don't know what he's after.**_

_**  
But he's so beautiful-  
such a beautiful disaster.**_

_**  
And if I could hold on  
through the tears and the laughter  
would it be beautiful?**_

_**  
Or just a beautiful disaster?)  
**_

Alexis asked, "So, we will meet you at the lake?"

He made a sound that told her _Hell no. _As if she didn't drive herself around all day everyday just fine on her own. But that was Sonny. He wanted to control the whole show. This time she would let him have his fun.

She knew he kept his boat docked at the largest lake in town. Much bigger than the lake her home sat on, or the one behind the Quatermaine mansion.

Alexis amended, "You'll pick us up around one o'clock?"

"I'll pick you up."

"In your bulletproof car."

"Don't start. You drive one too."

"Because of you, Sonny."

"Yeah, well...it's a job. Gotta pay the bills somehow."

She laughed. "That defense would never hold up in a court of law."

"You could sell it to a jury, I'm sure."

"Good night, Sonny."

"Night, Alexis."

She hung up with a smile on her face but soon she was asking herself_ What the hell did I just agree to do? How am I going to stop myself from wanting more than just one afternoon with him_?

_**(I'm longing for love and the logical  
but he's only happy hysterical.**_

_**  
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle-  
waited so long,  
so long.) ( Kelly Clarkson)  
**_

XXXXXXXXXX

**Sonny hung up the **phone wearing a grin that lit up his whole face.

He had tried to make it through that night without calling her but the craving grew too strong. After spending the day with Alexis, he only wanted more and more...more time to see her smile, more of her witty comebacks and biting comments that put him in his place, more of her eyes moving over him. More.

Even though it might mean falling into a black hole when she left his side again, at this moment, Sonny didn't care. The darkness might consume him later. But for now there was light.

There were hours upon hours of being by Alexis Davis' side tomorrow to look forward to. When he got into bed that night, Sonny let his mind drift into a fantasy of her. It had been a while since he allowed himself one of these.

_Alexis stood at the end of his bed. She wore a short silk nightie, her hair flowed over her shoulders, her eyes held a challenge._

"_Tell me what you want," she demanded in a slow, sexy tone. She crawled up the bed toward him. "Tell me, Sonny. Say the words."_

"_I want you to want me."_

_Her hand cupped his jaw. When her lips hit his, he moaned. _

_She whispered, "I do want you." Her hand slid down his chest. "Can't you feel how much I want you. Why would you doubt that?"_

_He kissed her then, taking all he needed, and then rolled her onto her back. With one quick yank he had off her panties._

_As he sunk into her, Alexis whispered, "Don't you know I love you? You're the man I love...it's always been you..."_

Sonny fell asleep wondering if he would ever be able to feel her lips upon his again, or if he would die still craving her kiss, still longing for more and more and more.

**At four am, **his hands reached out to the empty side of the bed, looking for her. Then his eyes opened and he remembered. She didn't love him anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

After six hours on the lake Sonny started to steer the boat back toward the shore. The sun had dropped lower in the sky, the colors of the sunset surrounded them- it was tranquil, a truly peaceful moment in time.

Alexis sat holding Molly. She watched Sonny as he let Kristina steer, and a sad smile curved her lips. The afternoon was lazy, relaxed and simply right- in a way they hadn't gotten to be as a family ever.

She wondered if it would be too much for her. To remember this but maybe never have it again. Still it had been worth it. If only to know what it felt like once. Another memory to store away and take out when Sonny was back across town, leaving her to deal with her heart full of love and regrets alone once more.

He looked over now and caught her eye, then winked.

Her smile turned from sad to sweet. Just when she was about to ask him to please pay attention to where he was driving, his eyes broke contact with hers and went back to the water.

She let out a breath and dropped a kiss on Molly's forehead.

This wasn't the life she had set out to have, but it was her life, and this moment was a good one. She tried to tell herself to not think about what might have been...but there were places inside of her that never stopped thinking about the past. About her childhood, her lost to her forever now brother, the sister who never deserved the fate she ended up with, her own choices and Sonny. Always Sonny.

Bittersweet would be the best way to describe her mood as the boat docked. Alexis said to Sonny, when they were walking back toward his car, "Thank you, Sonny, for the lovely afternoon. Kristina..." she prompted.

"Thank you, Daddy," her daughter dutifully chimed in. "It was lots of fun. Molly agrees."

"I'm glad you all enjoyed yourself," Sonny said. He smiled at Kristina, then Molly, and finally looked at Alexis. His eyes were cautious. "Here. Let me take her."

After Sonny hefted the chubby, and slightly wet toddler out of Alexis' arms he said "How about some dinner?"

"Can we, mommy?" asked Kristina. "Please! Daddy makes the best pasta."

"I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble, Sonny, really."

"Trouble? This is family."

She almost considered it dangerous to spend more time with him. Hearing him talk about their family, as one unit, was tantalizing. It was like setting a bottle of booze in front of an alcoholic. Pure temptation. How can you walk away at that point?

Alexis knew the answer all too well, you can't. So you take a sip, and then another, and then you're drowning in what you need. She didn't want to need him. Natasha shouldn't need anyone. But she had from the start, and Alexis- who she became after giving up Sam, and after years of working at becoming someone rather than feeling -that woman needed love badly. But didn't everyone? Wasn't it normal to crave that connection? It felt like a luxury to her though. More than she should even dream of possessing.

Sonny got the kids in the car and then turned to look in her eyes. "Come on...come back to my place...a little food, wine, let the girls visit Micheal and Morgan, I'll have Max pick them up...it will be nice. What's the harm?"

She chuckled in a way that said it could lead to heartbreak, and make her hate ever leaving his side again.

His look went dark with desire as he read her mind.

XXXXXXXXX

Alexis stilled. Shock flashed in her eyes at seeing he wanted her.

_Doesn't she know I never stopped aching for her_? Sonny wondered. _No, she don't, I guess. I screwed that part up too. I left her not even knowing I ever loved her at all_.

Sonny looked down and said "If you got other plans, no big deal. Some other time, counselor."

"I don't have other plans."

A slow smile curved his lips as he looked up again.

Her words had been tentative, maybe a little nervous, but she hadn't said no.

He wasn't sure what he hoped might come of this but he knew he wanted more time with her, a chance to make another memory, to look into her eyes for a little while longer. He didn't want this feeling to end.

Sonny said, "Good. So come over. We'll eat. Talk, maybe even have a few laughs...it will be great."

He walked over and opened the car door for her. She said, "You don't have to. I can open doors on my own. Maybe Carly made you open her doors..."

He laughed. "No. She liked for her driver to do that. It made her feel important. That we could afford someone to get paid to open car doors for her."

"Well, thank you ..." she slid inside, her eyes looked up at him. " it was chivalrous but unnecessary."

_I want to treat you right_, he silently told her. _How can that be not necessary?_

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Sit back and just enjoy the ride, counselor."

XXXXXXXXXX

**HOURS LATER**

She started to hope something would go wrong. That Sonny would piss her off. That would make it easy to grab her babies and leave his home.

She could storm out with her head held high, moving on pure adrenaline that might carry her far enough away from here to start to forget how good it felt to be near him today.

After dinner was done, Molly started to yawn so they laid her on the couch downstairs and sent the rest of the kids upstairs so they wouldn't wake her back up.

Sonny took a business call and Alexis stepped onto the patio to try and pull her mind back together.

For years she had wondered how their friendship disintegrated so fast after their one night together. She blamed herself, then him, Carly, Ned , even God and fate...everyone and everything took a turn at getting blamed during the worst days of her heartache.

But now it became clear to her why they hadn't been able to stay friends after making love. Because when they were near each other it felt right, too perfect. And in those days he couldn't allow himself to give in to that, to admit his marriage was long over and maybe should have never started. And Alexis she had needed to stop feeling so much all at once. Sonny opened up the floodgates inside of her back then and she vowed to never let him get that close again.

Now, without even one kiss, he had again. Just by bearing near her. She found in completely unfair.

His voice invaded her thoughts."What are you thinking about?"

She turned and saw him stepping outside to join her. Her heart and mind battled each other in that instance. One wanted him closer, the other knew it was best to send him far away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"What are you thinking about?" His voice invaded her thoughts.

Alexis turned and saw Sonny step outside. His posture was laid back, but his eyes searched hers.

She gave him a small smile. "Isn't that a line women use on men? Tell me what you are thinking, they say, hoping to hear something deep and thought provoking but the truth is the guy is probably just wondering when the football game starts."

"Well you weren't thinking about football."

"No," she murmured and then turned back to look at the stars again. She had been thinking about how they fell apart. Thinking herself into circles that always came right back to the fact Sonny hadn't chose her.

She was sick to death of knowing that.

(_Turn down the lights, turn down the bed_

_Turn down those voices inside my head_

_Lay down with me, tell me no lies_

_Just hold me close, don't patronize, don't patronize me.)_

Sonny stood next to her, looking up. "Are you worrying about Jax? I told Carly he will come back when he's done doing whatever it is he's out there doing... when he figures out he is chasing down his brother who is right here in town...but if you need him back home now..."

"What? You'll send someone after him?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I have a private detective on it. Called her today, in fact."

He smirked. "Her?"

"Yes, women can be private eyes just as easily as men can. Don't tell me you doubt the abilities of a capable women to survive in a man's world?"Alexis asked.

Catching the sexy glint that shot into his eyes, she chuckled, "Oh I see. You think...what? That's hot or something?"

"Hot or something? Well, a woman who kicks ass and takes names...yeah, that could be hot, I guess." His eyes flashed with heat, and sent a million erotic thoughts darting through hers.

"You are too much sometimes," she told him with a smile.

"And the other times?"

"Way, way, too much," she teased him. His smile lit up his eyes and then she spotted a dimple, and her heart flip flopped.

For the last few days, the wall she built up was starting to get cracks in it, and at that moment it gave out, crumbling down within her, leaving her without anything between her heart and this man who she had never been able to stop loving. The same man who didn't want her love at all. And nowshe was defenseless against him.

(_Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't._

_And you can't make your heart feel something it won't._

_Here in the dark, _

_in these final hours_

_  
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power  
But you wont, no, you won't_

_'Cause I cant make you love me, if you don't.) ( Bonnie Raitt)_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

For a moment, Alexis smiled and Sonny couldn't help grinning back at her. Things were easy and felt like the old days, and then the past must have rushed up and took hold of her because the light faded from her eyes and Sonny watched as all her vulnerabilities floated to the surface. Her need, her crushed hopes, her longings and her love were on display for a flash of a second, and then utter sadness chased those emotions away and took over residence in her features.

Seeing that stole his breath away. He eased closer to her. "Hey now..."

"Sonny, don't."

He stilled. _Maybe I didn't see what I thought_, went through his mind.

Alexis took a step back. "I should get home. Good night."

_Running away again_, he thought, _not that I blame her. She doesn't want what I have to offer_...

"I'll walk you out," he said, his words spoken quickly. He hated that they sounded slightly desperate.

That was one emotion he never wanted anyone to see him displaying but around her...she brought out everything he felt deep within himself and he couldn't stop it from happening. Even if she didn't give a damn about his love anymore, even if his love had done nothing but hurt her, he still felt every bit of it just as strong as he had from the start.

It killed him to watch her hurry out the door, trying to get far away from him as fast as she could.

(_I'll close my eyes, then I won't see  
the love you don't feel when you're holding me_

_  
Morning will come and I'll do what's right  
Just give me til then to give up this fight_

_  
And I will give up this fight_.)

She hurried into the house and called out for Kristina then went to pick up Molly. Sonny said, "I'll

carry her for you."

"No, no, no, that's okay," Alexis said as she scooped up her child.

Kristina ran down the stairs and said good night to Sonny. He kissed her head and then Kristina

grabbed Alexis hand.

"Well," he said reluctantly "good night then, counselor. Take care. Stay away from-"

"I will. I will. Stop harassing me."

She hurried into the foyer.

Sonny followed. "I would hardly call it harassment."

Alexis glanced at Kristina. "You're right. Right. Okay. That was a harsh word. Thank you for your concern, Sonny, really but _we_- me and my girls- will be fine. Fine. Great. Night!"

Then she was out the door, with Max hustling to keep up as he drug her bag full of beachwear. Sonny called out for other guards who would follow Alexis home and stand gaurd outside her place again tonight. He planned to keep that arrangement up until Jerry Jacks was six feet under.

Standing in his doorway, Sonny watched her get the kids in the car. After a moment, he gave into his urge and walked out there. Right before she climbed in the car, he slid close to her.

Nearly into her ear, he asked "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" she asked.

Her breathing was irregular. For some reason that made him feel a whole hell of a lot better.

"Running out."

"I'm simply going home, where I live. Is that so out of the ordinary?"

"You eager to get away from me for some reason? Didn't you have a good time?"

"Yes, I did. We did. It was wonderful."

"So?"

"And now it is over."

"It doesn't have to be," he said softly.

The words slipped out, as they stood there in his driveway under the moonlight, but they weren't an accident.

He didn't want them to be over, for them to never have another day like this. For years he thought she didn't want a thing to do with him, after how he did her wrong at a point where she had been counting on him to hold her together- when she had just let down her gaurd and let herself love him. But now Sonny wondered if maybe Alexis might be convinced to give him another chance.

If she still had any love for him left in her heart...if what he saw a moment ago in her eyes was not some illusion he imagined to keep his own heart from cracking...if she didn't think it was too late...

(_ Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't  
And you can't make your heart feel something it won't_

_Here in the dark, in these final hours  
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power  
But you won't, no, you wont  
Cause I cant make you love me, if you don't) _

His heart hammered hard in his chest as he waited for the rejection he feared was coming.

"What does that mean, Sonny? What exactly are you asking me for?"

_Love me_, he wanted to say. Two simple words. _Love me. _


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten **

Alexis helped her children into their car seats. Her hands were shaking. Five minutes before an earthquake hit her life. All her walls fell down inside of herself and she felt completely exposed in front of Sonny- all of her heart, her wants, her needs, her dreams. She was sure he had seen them in her eyes.

_Damn dimples_, she silently cursed as she closed the car door. _Damn Sonny. Damn heart of mine. Damn all of this. Why can't I get him out of my heart?_

Suddenly he wasn't inside of his house anymore, watching from the doorway, instead Sonny was right next to her, leaning close and whispering into her ear "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" She knew her words were sharp but Alexis couldn't help it.

_Is he really going here now? After all this time? _she asked herself

Though it felt like a blink to her, one second Sonny was kissing her and making her feel alive and the next she was sick with some awful disease that might make her dead. She blinked again and she was here, trying to get away from him before she blurted out something heartfelt and ultimately embarrassing for both of them.

He said, "Running out."

She babbled, "I'm simply going home, where I live. Is that so out of the ordinary?"

He studied her closely. "You eager to get away from me or something? Didn't you have a good time?"

_To put it mildly, _she thought but said "Yes, I did. We did. It was wonderful."

"So?"

"And now it is over."

"It doesn't have to be," he said softly.

_Doesn't it? Hasn't it been over, it the only sense that matters, for years now? _she wondered.

"What does that mean, Sonny? What exactly are you asking me for?"

"I'm just saying...you know...we..." His eyes held hers.

"No," the word was full of pain. "I'm afraid I don't know."

He fidgeted around a little before he said, "Today was a good day."

Slowly, she nodded. "I agree."

"So, what about making tomorrow a good day?"

"How?"

"Spend it with me."

_Why_? she yelled at him silently but aloud said "I have a lot of work to catch up on. Someone has been distracting me lately."

He smiled. Her heart twisted in her chest.

Alexis leaned against her car, putting more distance between them, and said "I really don't have anymore time to spare from work."

Sonny's grin disappeared in an instant.

"If you don't want to be around me," how tense his tone was surprised her "just say so. Don't put it off on work."

"And why would you want to be around me? One of your spies on Jerry find out he's planning to ring my doorbell in the morning? Maybe the bug you have on his phone overheard him saying he's madly in love with me?"

Even to her own ears that sounded ridiculous but she couldn't help trying to convince herself he didn't want to be with her again. For if he did...she'd have to risk it all, show him her heart, and pray to God he didn't break it twice in one lifetime. Did she have that much faith left? Alexis wasn't sure she did.

Sonny let out a long breath. "This has zero to do with Jerry."

"No?"

_Then what does it have to do with_? she wondered. _Maybe Sonny just misses me. Maybe he finally misses me._ The thought alone could make her cry but she fought from letting the tears come into her eyes.

Sonny said, "I think you know _this_ is about something other than Jerry."

"So you were never worried about him coming after me?"

"I sure as hell was. That guys is nuts. Can't you see it when you look at him? Something is not right in his eyes. But I asked you to see me tomorrow because..." Sonny shook his head and looked down. He took a step back. "Forget it. You've made it more than clear you not interested."

The moment faded into a strained silence. She watched him retreat into himself and it tore at her heart.

Alexis sighed. "Sorry, but I truly do have a lot of work to do tomorrow."

"Its fine. Whatever. Have a safe ride home." He started to head back into the house.

She couldn't let him leave feeling this way.

"Sonny."

He stopped but didn't look back.

"I" she said slowly "really enjoyed getting to spend time...with you these last few days, with the girls and before that, too." Her words sped up as he turned around. "Not to say you didn't annoy me half to death at some points but it was also good to know you cared about my safety and ...that we could still get along. We used to do that so well once and then one day, like a light switch being flipped, it was over. Maybe we can't just flip that switch back...or maybe we can. What do you think?"

Sonny walked as close to her as he could get. Alexis held her breath and averted her eyes._ Please don't let me see pity in his...let me see ...love_, she thought and then she moved her eyes back to meet his.

In his dark eyes she was amazed to find relief and happiness, and an overflowing of love for her. She didn't know how it was possible for that to be there but it was. He touched her arm, then his hand moved down to take hers.

He asked, his voice low and sexy but also a little nervous, " Would you like to go on a date with me, counselor?"

"A date?" Her heart started to pound loud in her ears.

"A date. One date. I'm not asking for forever...just one night. You put on a dress. I'll pick you up in my limo. We'll go somewhere...into the city or to a restaurant by the shore or Italy or..."

"Italy?"

"Whatever. Anywhere. You pick."

"Why?" The word was spoken more harshly than she intended but she needed some answers. She couldn't just slide back into his world without any idea of what the future would hold.

He took a step back. His eyes searched hers. "Why not?"

_Because I'm in love with you and I don't know for sure you want my love_, she thought.

"You know I need to get the girls home," Alexis said as she turned for the car.

"You aren't serious?"

"We can talk later. After you think..."

"What do I have to think about? You're the one thinking too much. Don't do this," his tone was as close to begging as she ever heard.

But she got in the car and drove away anyway.

XXXXXXXXXXX

He went back inside and straight over to the liquor. He poured himself a double. Held it up and stared at it.

There was a time when this was the only way he knew how to cope. Or breaking something. Letting glass hit a wall.

Sonny told himself in that moment that he knew, years ago, Alexis was done with him and one day on the lake didn't change that fact. But it felt so right when he was with her. He loved that feeling, seeing her eyes sparkling with amusement and having her joking with him; he was a greedy man, had never lied about that, and couldn't help wanting more.

But not if she didn't want him. He wouldn't beg. Though begging sounded like a damn good idea right now. Anything sounded good. Getting her back sounded like salvation.

He put down his drink. His hands clenched and unclenched.

_She doesn't want me_, he thought, _It's not a surprise_.

"Sonny? You home?"

His eyes jerked to the patio doors.

Kate Howard stood there, smiling back at him. "You're here," she said happily "You haven't been around lately. The coffee business keeping you busy?"

He burst out laughing. The sound bitter and self destructive. The sad thing was Kate hadn't been making a joke at all, and Sonny knew it.

XXXXXXXXX

_Do you want to go on a date? Do you want to go on a date? A date. Date. _It ran through Alexis mind as she drove home.

_You could have said yes_, she told herself _But then what. Date him. Kiss him. Sleep with him. Let him in. Let him get enough and then leave for someone else all over again...for Carly, for Kate, for some random redhead that didn't mean a thing to him, who he wouldn't even barely remember later. I can't do that again. I won't._

At a red light she glanced back at her daughters. They were beautiful and sweet, they needed a sane mother. Sonny made her feel crazy sometimes. Like right now. He had said he wanted her, after all these years, but she still didn't know for what- just sex maybe?- and for how long he might feel this way this time.

_You just wanted to hear I love you_, her mind taunted her. _Rush much? You could have given him a chance._

A chance. Did she have one left to offer him?

She thought about turning the car around and going back to tell him she had changed her mind. Looking at her watch she saw it had only been ten minutes since she left him. Certainly if she went back now he would still want her...

The light turned green and Alexis hit the gas.


	11. Chapter 11

_Sleep is passe_, Alexis told herself the next morning. _So last year. No one is doing it anymore_.

At least she wasn't. Instead she stayed up and thought about things she couldn't change: Jax was missing, Jax loved Carly- a bad choice for him no matter how you looked at it, Ric had her job, Ric would go for full custody if he ever found any dirt on her- and there was plenty but he would never know that.

And she thought about Sonny. He wanted to take her on a date, to another country possibly.

Maybe he wanted to walk through that vineyard where the wine they drank was made. Or maybe he only said that because he wasn't thinking straight. He was confusing their one day of renewed

friendship, and the nice easy going vibe, with romance and love and sex.

Things had felt right, so he thought they should date. If things got rocky would he move on to someone else?

Sonny didn't have female friends, except Lois. She was like a sister. Alexis knew that every other women in his life was someone who worked for him or slept with him. She crossed the line and did both, then fell in love with him for good measure- the kind of love you can't get over even if you put 10,000 miles and 100 years between yourself and that person.

Her mind was racing. All she wanted was to have his lips on hers, his arms pulling her against him, and know that he wanted her to be his from now on. Maybe it was insane to what all that from a gangster, but she did. She wanted him. Yet every time she thought about saying yes to that date, her breathing became so shallow she wondered if she would survive. To stay away from him would be much safer.

They could pretend this never happened.

She sat at her desk at work and let her eyes drift over to a photo of her three daughters. All connected in some way to Sonny.

_It did happen_, she thought. _He happened. You fell for him. Deal with it. Before you lose him for a second time._

She stood up and grabbed her purse then hurried out to her car. So much for getting caught up on her work. As usual, Sonny Corinthos had managed to put her mind in a spin.

(_Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream._

_  
Only wish that you were here.  
You know I'm seeing it_

_so clear._

_I've been afraid  
to show you how I really feel;  
admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made_.) (David Gray)

XXXXXXXXX

**TWENTY MINUTES LATER**

"Ms. Davis!" Milo cried as she raced into the house. "It's not a good time. Ms. Davis, please..."

She heard the young man but considering the family she grew up in, the world she conquered in the courtroom, and the various ruthless men and women, like Luis and Faith, that she made shake in their boots, Milo Giambetti just wasn't forceful enough to slow her down.

Alexis opened the door to Sonny's living room, then stopped short. The sight in front of her made her blood run cold.

Jason and Sonny were standing there. Jax sat in a chair, he looked like he had been beaten for days- then ran over by a bus and beaten some more.

"Oh my God!" She rushed over and nearly threw her arms around him but the wince he made at the first contact caused Alexis to stop. "What...happened to you?" Tears filled her eyes. "Who did this to you?"

Jax had a numb look in his light eyes. Alexis jerked her eyes over to Sonny.

She asked him, "Who did this to him?"The words were low and harsh.

"Not me," Sonny said.

"Did you handle it?" she asked

He nodded.

Jason said "I got to go. I'll talk to Carly and let her know you'll be home in a few days, Jax."

"Thank you." Both words lacked any life.

Alexis moved to Sonny's side and whispered "Foyer."

She told Jax she would be back soon but he barely seemed to notice. When she was in the foyer with Sonny, Alexis nodded at Milo, and Sonny sent him away.

She grabbed Sonny's arm and hissed. "I want to see the body. I want to know he's dead."

Alexis knew all too well about monsters coming back from their graves.

Sonny said, "Forget about it. That's not gonna happen."

"But it was Jerry, right? He caused this. He got Jax nearly killed, didn't he?"

"Jerry will never be able to do that again. That's all you need to know."

She let out a sound filled with pain, for her best friend. Quickly she covered her mouth to hide it from Jax. Sonny eased closer to her but didn't touch her.

Alexis reached out and grabbed his shirt, yanking him right against her. She whispered, the sound pure pain, "I can't stand that someone hurt him."

"It's over now. He made it."

"Barely."

"He's alive. Jason figured out where he was and pulled him out. It may take a while but Jax will recover."

Their eyes held for a long minute and then she moved her arms around his neck, as the tears started to fall. His hands rubbed her back. At this point she was too tired, too sad, and much too lonely for him- for his love and comfort- to resist Sonny any longer.

She figure that though he may_ want _her; she needed him. And was willing to risk hoping he needed her back just as much.

(_If you want it  
come and get it-  
crying out loud._

_  
The love that I was giving you was  
never in doubt_) ( David Gray)

Alexis pulled back a little, until her lips were moving toward his, and then she kissed him with an intensity neither had felt in over five years.

He deepened the kiss and she sighed, the sound pure relief that he did want her in this way. Sonny's hands came up to hold her face, he broke the kiss. "Lexi?"

"I changed my mind about that date."

A smile spread over his lips. "I didn't think you would ...what did it? Me helping to find Jax?"

"No, no, Sonny. But thank you for that. Thank you. I do need him. But no. I was on my way here, in the middle of my work day, cause I had to tell you right away that I sort of made a error in thinking last night when I left without telling you that...I very much liked the idea of you taking me somewhere. Anywhere. The beach or New York City or Italy. It all sounds wonderful to me."

"Yeah?"

His tone was so filled with neediness for her that Alexis kissed him again. "Yes. Is the offer still on the table?"

"On the table, on the floor, on the bed...wherever you want it, counselor."

(_Let go your heart  
Let go your head  
And feel it now _)

Alexis smiled through her tears at him. She was still scared they might not last but the idea of them having this time together to explore what they could be was simply too much for her to resist.

Sonny's voice was filled with awe when he said, "You...did it again. Surprised the hell out of me. I wasn't sure you even still gave a damn about me."

His lips moved to hers, kissing her in a slow and sensual way that sent shivers coursing through every inch of her body. When he pulled back his eyes were filled with all of his heart. In that moment, she wondered why she had ever doubted his feelings for her. It was all there looking back at her.

"I didn't know you still...felt anything for me," she said. "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

Sonny said, "I didn't have the words then. I'm not even sure I do now..." he broke eye contact with her, as his fears rushed up to take over him.

Alexis brought her hand to his jaw and forced him to look at her again. She offered him complete acceptance, forgiveness and one more chance to get this thing right, slowly Sonny began to smile again.

(_Let go of your heart  
Let go of your head  
And feel it now  
Babylon, Babylon, Babylon)_

"Are you busy tonight, counselor?"

She shook her head, no, while her eyes stayed locked on his.

Sonny went on, "So I'll pick you up around six and we can have this date you finally agreed to."

"Finally?" she teased. "You asked me less than 24 hours ago. I'm sure I am well within the grace period for amending my response."

He chuckled. Then as he leaned closer to her, Sonny whispered "You know what? The grace period was..." he shrugged "the whole rest of my life. So you made it in well under the wire."

His lips connected with hers again and the ache she carried around for all the years when he wasn't hers started to fade away; all the cold, lonely, bitter places inside of her, the places she hated to even think about, began to fill with warmth once more and Alexis remembered how it felt to feel like Sonny did truly love her.

It was an amazing feeling- like flying high above the world, rushing fast through outer space, and also like standing very still and holding the hand of your soulmate. It was wild and secure, soft and hard, loud and quiet, dangerous and safe all at once- an exquisite extreme that she never wanted to live without again.

(_And if you want it  
come and get it-  
crying out loud._

_  
The love that I was giving you was  
never in doubt._

_  
Let go of your heart  
Let go of your head  
and feel it now.)_

_XXXXXXXXXX_

At the same moment, Sonny was thanking God for this woman. Just the night before he didn't think she wanted him at all. Every horrible impulse to destroy himself rose up then. He wanted to drink. He want to scream. He wanted to sleep with the wrong woman and then tell her she meant nothing to him the next morning- because, in truth, none of them really did, not compared to this...not compared to kissing Alexis.

But Sonny fought off his demons last night. He buried himself in work, staying on the phones half the night as he kept in contract with Jason who was fighting to track down Jax and then fly him back home. Neither Jason nor Sonny really cared about Jax but the women they loved did and that was enough of a reason to go find the man. What happened to Jax was unspeakable and Sonny hated that Alexis knew about it. He felt he should have protected her.

He vowed to do a better job of that in the future.

Smiling, Alexis pulled back slightly, and looked in his eyes. She breathed out his name. Her eyes were full of hope for the first time in years. Sonny felt his chest grow tight until he could barely breath. God, was she beautiful when she looked like this. He had missed this more than words could say. How had he ever walked away from her before? He couldn't make sense out of that but he knew it would never happen again.

(_Let go of your heart  
Let go of your head  
and feel it now._

_  
Let go of your heart  
Let go of your head  
and feel it now.)_

When Sonny looked in Alexis eyes again he did see trust, and love, and happiness. This man had been crawling away from the darkness for most of his lifebut only in this second did it finally feel like he had made it safely to the other side, like he had a real shot at never falling into the blackness again, because she was here now, here to love him, here to give him another chance to love her better.

_(Let go of your heart  
Let go of your head  
and feel it now_

Babylon, Babylon, Babylon )


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Alexis walked back into Sonny's living room, feeling more whole than she had in years until the moment she saw her best friend once more. Jax was sitting on the couch, in the same spot they left him, staring at some dot on the wall- at nothing really. His eyes were devoid of life.

If Sonny hadn't assured her that every person responsible was already dead Alexis would have been, that very second, compiling a mental hit list. She might not pull the trigger herself but every person that hurt Jax would have felt her wrath, and been made to suffer one thousand times greater than he had.

She sat next to him on the couch, glad that Sonny gave her a few minutes alone to speak to Jax. Alexis wanted to take his hand but his stiff posture made her hold back. Softly she said his name, he didn't look her way.

"You should go home to Carly," Alexis said. Though she had no use for the blonde, Jax needed his wife right now. "I heard you agree when Jason said you would see Carly in a few days. Why not now? She missed you terribly...drove us all nuts talking about it, in fact."

He didn't even look her way.

Alexis started to ramble on "Though I am loathe to admit it, Carly does love you. She didn't run back to Sonny's bed this time and that must mean she takes your vows seriously...does she even know you're home?"

"Jason will tell her."

"Jason? Well, yes, he is who I would send too...he seems to be able to get through to her...but why send someone when you can go yourself? I know you're_ hurt_..." the last word was too much for her, causing her voice to crack and break. She pushed down a sob and was about to look away when Jax turned to look in her direction, though his eyes stayed on a spot behind her.

He said, "The boys. They shouldn't see this. Me."

"So where are you going to stay? Cause you are more than welcome to come home with me."

"Not with your girls there. No. Not like this," Jax stood up. He finally seemed to snap out of his daze, to a degree. He ran his hand through his hair. "I'll just get a room at the Port Charles Inn."

"You own a hotel full of rooms and have friends who would love to put you up. Robin, Ned, stay with Nikolas. I could ask him. Wyndermere has more than enough spare rooms..."

Their eyes met and held. Jax said "I just need time alone."

She nodded and now the tears did come, threatening to overflow her eyes and stream down her face.

Sonny stepped back into the room. "The car is ready, Jacks."

Jax nodded and walked toward the door.

Alexis jumped up. "Call me! If you need anything...at all...anything...Jax, please."

He looked back. It took a moment for him to work up a small smile. "I will be fine."

It sounded like such a lie that she started to shake. Jax turned away and said to Sonny "Whatever I owe you..."

"Nothing," Sonny told him.

"I can pay for your time and efforts. Name a price."

"Jax," Sonny said, shaking his head.

"One million. I'll send it to you," Jax decided and then walked out the door.

Sonny came over and brought Alexis into a hug. She sobbed on his shoulder. He smoothed down her hair and whispered into her ear. "The worst is behind him...and us...I got you."

"Don't take his money."

"It would be worse for him if I didn't. Pick a charity."

She pulled back and looked in his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Sonny sucked in a breath. She was looking at him like he was the same man she fell in love with. It had been so long since he saw that look, it stunned him. She was proud of him and glad to be there with him, to lean on him, to know he cared about her.

This is what life was supposed to feel like. He'd missed this feeling. It came and went so quickly before. He couldn't let that happen again.

Alexis said, "Thank you for bringing him home...even if you did it for Carly or so that Jerry didn't have anything to hold over you or whatever reason made you go and find him. Just thank you because he could have been killed and if that happened...no. No. That can not happen. I know he will mourn his brother but the man is better off dead if he was going to be the reason Jax died...Jax is worth a hundred Jerrys. Jax never should have had to suffer this way."

"He will recover. Believe in that and him."

Those words seemed to infuse strength into Alexis and she wiped away her tears. "Yes, he will."

Sonny nodded and said "Sit down. I'll make us some coffee. I just brought home a new blend that we got in from South American this week. You'll love it."

A tender smile curved her lips as he left to make their drinks. Being taken care of by Sonny was the most comforting feeling in the world to her. Most other people she never let see her break down. It would show too much weakness. It felt amazing to know that she no longer had to try and hide this side of herself from Sonny anymore. He was the one person she needed most to see her at her worst, and then hold on to her through it all.

Just that morning Alexis wasn't sure she would accept his offer of a date, of a second chance for them, but now there was no doubt in her mind it had been the right thing to do. She needed this, him, them...another time to make things better, last, right finally.

A little while later, he came back into the living room, carrying the two steaming hot cups of coffee. Sonny stopped in the doorway. His eyes searched hers, as if he was wondering if they were still okay.

Alexis gave him a shaky smile. "That for me?" she asked, reaching for the coffee.

He nodded and came over to her, passing her the cup and sitting down. He watched as she took the first sip.

"Delicious," she declared.

"Glad you like it."

After a moment she said, "I'm glad I'm here, that I didn't stay at work and bury myself in some case file about something that could never mean half as much to me as this does."

His eyes softened and a slow smile curved his lips. "So we still on for that date tonight then?"

She nodded.

"You will not regret it," each word he said was slow and sure.

"I believe you."

"You do?"

"Shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said "you should. I'm just surprised you do is all."

"Drink your coffee and stop worrying so much, Sonny."

He chuckled but followed her orders. It was the first time, in a very long time, he let a woman tell him what to do.

(_**Well I'm shameless  
when it comes to loving you,  
I'll do anything you want me to,  
I'll do anything at all.**_

And I'm standing  
Here for all the world to see,  
Oh, baby that's what's left of me,  
I don't have very far to fall.) ( Garth Brooks)

XXXXXXXXXXXX

That night Alexis found herself shocked over and over by what Sonny had planned for them. They didn't end up at the No Name gangster restaurant he loved to go to, instead he picked her up and drove them straight to the airport.

"_Do I even want to know where we are going? The other side of the planet, Sonny? I do have daughters at home waiting on their mother."_

"_Do you trust me?"_

"_I do."_

"_I told Voila not to expect you home tonight."_

"_Sonny! You did what?"_

"_Trust, trust, counselor. Don't lose it now. Come with me."_

"_Where to? Italy?"_

"_You'll see. Just take a leap of faith. It won't hurt a bit- unless you think I'm gonna let you hit the ground...so what do you say? You getting on this plane with me or what?"_

She did. There hadn't been much question or debate in her own mind about if she would. Alexis had come too far this time to run away. She needed to see if they could make it last now.

They ended up in New York City eating at a five star restaurant that should have taken months to get reservations at but, of course, that hadn't stopped Sonny from bribing someone to get them a table near the piano player. After dinner he stood up and held out his hand. They made their way to the dance floor together.

When Alexis slid back into his arms, and they started to sway to the beat together, she felt something open up inside of her. A dance is what first made her fall for Sonny, and a dance is what made her sure this time it would all end better than it had back then.

_**(And I'm changing,  
swore I'd never compromise,**_

_**oh, but you convinced me otherwise.**_

_**  
I'll do anything you please.**_

_****_

You see in all my life I've never found  
what I couldn't resist, what I couldn't turn down.

_**  
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew,  
but I can't walk away from you**_.)

His breath brushed over her ear. Sonny whispered, "You having a good time?"

"What do you think?" Her smile held nothing back, giving him complete access to her heart and happiness in that moment.

"I think you are. I think you've never had a better time in your life."

She chuckled. "Oh, I can think of one time I did."

His eyes connected with hers. Pure, unchecked lust stared back at her. "Lets get out of here," Sonny said.

Alexis smiled. "Lead the way."

Taking her hand, Sonny led her back to the table where he paid the bill and then out to his waiting limo.

XXXXXXXXXX

He had rented a room at a plush Madison Avenue hotel but now Sonny didn't think he could wait until they got there to kiss Alexis again. He watched her scoot into the limo, his eyes on her ass then legs, then all that gorgeous hair that had just grown back.

Sonny followed her into the limo and as soon as she turned to face him, cupped her cheeks and kissed her hungrily. He slid his tongue into her mouth, causing her to moan, and then pulled her nearly onto his lap.

(_**I have never let anything have this much control on me.  
I've worked too hard to call my life my own.**_

_**  
And I've made myself a world, and it's worked so perfectly.  
But it's your world now, I can't refuse.**_

_**  
I've never had so much to lose.  
Oh I'm shameless**_...)


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

They left the New York City restaurant hand- in- hand, for the first time ever feeling like a real couple. Alexis was dressed in a form fitting black dress that hugged her curves in a way she usually tried to avoid. But tonight wasn't about being seen as capable and no nonsense, it was about reveling in the fact that Sonny liked her body and wanted to admire it, kiss it, slip inside of her once more and finally be back where they both missed for too long now.

Sonny opened the limo door for her. Their eyes connected as she slid past him.

She let go of his hand and scooted into the limo. He followed her inside. Alexis turned to face him and before she could say the words on her tongue he was cupping her cheeks and kissing her with a need that lit a fire inside of her. It was hungry and wild, not holding a thing back, desperate and needy.

Sonny tugged her onto his lap, never breaking their kiss. Alexis was soon moaning into his mouth as his hands slid down the straps of her dress.

She yanked her mouth away, breathing heavily, and glanced towards the driver. The partition was up.

Sonny chuckled. "Stop thinking so much, counselor."

She smiled, then told him, "Make me stop."

His eyes flashed with heat at her challenge.

Then his mouth was back on hers, first on her lips and then her shoulder, then he peeled her dress down to her waist and began to lay kisses right above her breasts, as his hand caressed them. Her skin flushed, all the need she felt for him moved through her body- making her wet and ready for him to be inside of her.

She started to shimmy the rest of the way out of her dress.

Suddenly his eyes rose to meet hers, and she saw they were filled with insecurities. She couldn't believe he was doubting what she wanted now. Wasn't it obvious she was aching for him?

Sonny asked, "You sure?"

Alexis leaned down and grabbed his lips into another kiss. "God, yes, I'm sure. Don't tell me you aren't. Don't say that...unless..."

He looked right into her eyes. "You are who I want most in this world. The rest...that was all game playing. This isn't. Know that. Believe in that. Let yourself...love me again."

A slow smiled came to her lips. "Again? Again?" She asked softly as she kissed him. "Again, huh. That's a good one, Sonny."

He stilled.

She placed a hand on his cheek and, for a moment, got lost in his penetratingly dark eyes. "You are impossible to get over, Sonny. If some woman ever pulled it off then good for her but I never did. Kept trying- all the time in fact. But it never worked out quite right. I pushed you away with all the strength I had and then cried myself to sleep way too many nights because you were actually gone from my life...I won't do that this time...so, yes, I am very sure. I need this. I need you."

XXXXXXXXXX

Her sweet words of love echoed in his mind as they started to kiss again. Her uncovered breasts rubbed against his chest. Sonny loved that she was able to be this open with him and show him her heart. It felt like he waited his whole life to hear those words from her, like they changed something in him and made him someone more, made him worthy of having a good life and being loved by Alexis.

She gripped the back of his neck with one hand and leaned back, granting him access to her breasts once more. He swirled his tongue around her nipple, teasing her until she moaned out his name. Then Sonny sucked it into his mouth.

The limo came to a stop.

Alexis groaned as they moved away from each other and fixed their clothes.

She said to him, "We had better be at a hotel."

"And here _I_ was," he joked with a devilish grin "thinking you would be asking for separate suites tonight."

"Don't mess with me, Corinthos."

He laughed and then opened the limo door. The shared one last long look before he climbed out, then held out his hand to help her out.

The driver said "So I'll pick you up at nine am, sir?"

"Better make it noon," Sonny said.

Alexis could feel her face heating up just at those words and wondered if the driver noticed her blushing, or the way her hair was all tousled now.

They headed into the hotel together and checked in. At the room to their suite, Sonny slid the electronic keycard into the door. Alexis leaned over and kissed his neck. He sucked in a shaky breath and then quickly pulled her inside.

His hands stripped off her dress in an instant. She leaned against the door as he dropped to his knees and drug her panties off next.

The room was pitch black, but sparing the time to even turn on a light would have been torturous. Though she would have liked to look in his eyes and see his whole heart there on display- and let him see hers- Alexis needed, even more than that, him to keep doing what he was doing, to keep loving her like his life depended on it.

His hands brushed over her center and then into her, as his mouth connected with hers once more. It shocked her how quick she was rocketing toward an orgasm. Every other man worked for it, Sonny got it within a minute...almost faster than she thought should be possible...all too soon she felt herself clenching tighter and tighter his fingers and losing all sense of time and place...losing the last of what she held back for too long.

"Yes, Alexis, like that. Trust me."

Her moans had started soft but grew more and more intense, louder and coming quickly until they were on top of each other and just one long continuos sound. The moment she collapsed against him, Sonny whispered into her ear "Just so you know...I'm in love with you."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

He said the words he had wanted to say for years now. She was the one exposed, naked and screaming out her pleasure, and he didn't want her to feel like she was in this alone, letting down her gaurd and risking it all without him being right there risking just as much.

So Sonny took the last step and revealed his heart. Alexis was gasping for air, shuddering against him.

He reached out and turned on a light, needing to see her eyes.

They were wide with questions.

He repeated. "I'm in love with you...it never ended for me really. I just went on falling for you even though I figured I was on my own in doing that...even though I pushed you away. I loved you then and I do now and its about time I told you."

Her smile lit up her face, his eyes, and his heart.

Alexis said "You have some timing, Sonny."

"Yeah, well." He grinned. "What can I say?"

She grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the huge bed that was in the center of the room. Alexis started to undress him while saying "This is amazing. Its something I didn't think could happen. But it is happening. Its happening. We are happening."

"I know that."

Her hand slid beneath his boxers to take hold of him. "Do you know everything? Do you know how I feel about you?"

As she stroked him, Alexis asked "Do you know how deep into me you are, Sonny? Can you even imagine?"

At that second he wondered if this was a fantasy. He had dreamed this before but never did he think it would become reality, become his life, that he would have this woman here wanting him like this.

"I love you, too, Sonny. Maybe more than you can understand right now."

It was, in fact, rather hard to understand anything with how her hand was moving over him but he did comprehend her words and they soothed away the last of his fears.

Alexis kissed him deeply, then crawled onto the bed, pulling him down on top of her. "Now. Please. Stop making me wait."

He wore a smile when he brought their bodies together, making them as they should be once more- one entity moving together toward ecstasy.

"Oh, God, so good, Alexis. You feel so good. Ohh..." soon he lost his ability to speak at all, to even think, his mind shut out all the pain of his past for the first time ever.

Sonny couldn't believe how right it felt to be back inside of her. It was better than he remembered and at that moment he found it hard to believe he had ever walked away from this women in the past.

He wouldn't make that mistake again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Alexis woke up slowly the next morning. Before she even opened her eyes she was stretching, feeling all the aches in her body but loving that she felt that way. She expected to find Sonny curled up next to her but she could tell she was alone in the bed.

Slowly her eyes opened. The room was empty. She sat up in bed, doing her best to push away any fears or doubts. Even if Sonny didn't enjoy the night- which she damn well knew he did considering his reactions- its not like he would grab his stuff and flee before she even got up.

Still being alone gave her time to think, to worry, to wonder if this was truly the start of something life changing for them or just their second night stand.

"_Just so you know...I am in love with you,"_ floated through her mind, taking her right back to being pressed against the door of this hotel room when Sonny whispered that into her ear.

There was no way she would give into doubts about him now. Alexis crawled out of bed and grabbed a robe. She headed for the shower.

Ten minutes later the bathroom door opened and Sonny teased "You started without me, counselor? We'll have to do something about that."

Soon he was out of his clothes and into the shower with her. She pressed her palms first against the sides of his face and they laughed and kissed. Then ran her hands down his chest, around his back, and over his ass.

Sonny moved her wet hair aside and started to kiss her neck, causing soft moans to escape her lips. His fingers moved to stroke over her and the intensity of her moans rocketed upwards, until just his fingers weren't enough and she was saying "Now, now, yes...oh."

Alexis didn't try to hold back a thing. There was no reason to. The moment she agreed to the date she knew it was time to trust this man with all of herself again, to show him how much she needed him, ached for him, wanted him inside of her taking her over the edge of insanity. Usually, a place like that would terrify her and she would fight everyone and everything to not show that fear. But, with him, it wasn't like that- not anymore. Now she could lose herself, her cool veneer, her walls and all her defense mechanisms and just let go...just take him back into her heart, mind, spirit, and body all the way...pulling him closer instead of pushing him back...she could come the last few steps into the life she had been craving for over five years.

He called out her name, as her nails dug into his back, and water soaked them both. Soon he was murmuring, urging her to come with him, and then they were simultaneously riding a wave of ecstasy, holding on to each other with all they had, not willing to leave the other behind for even a second.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**While they ate breakfast**, Sonny asked "So don't you want to know where I was at when you woke up?"

"I don't know," she smiled "do I? Out plotting some kind of criminal undertaking, were you?"

They were both dressed again and sitting at the table in the room eating french toast.

He asked, "Would I do something like that? What do you take me for- some kind of gangster?"

She laughed.

"No," Sonny said, flashing her some dimples, "I wasn't doing anything criminal. So don't go calling the NYPD on me."

"Never."

"Oh, yeah?"

"I'd wait till we got home so I could prosecute you in Port Charles, " she joked. "Because you know I will be stealing back the job that was stolen from me."

Sonny shook his head at her, but chuckled. "I was actually..." his face got serious "shopping."

She set down her fork, studying him. "What couldn't wait till we got home? Souvenirs for the kids?"

"Nope, for you."

Sonny stood up and walked over to where his suit was hanging on a hook in the closet. He pulled out a jewelry box.

He turned and their eyes connected.

(_**We sailed on together  
We drifted apart  
and here you are by my side**_

So now I come to you  
With open arms  
Nothing to hide  
Believe what I say) ( Journey)  


A soft, sweet smile graced Alexis face. Through a lump in her throat she said, "You know you didn't have to..."

"I wanted it," he insisted. "Wouldn't want you to forget our time here."

He walked over and kneeled next to her chair.

"Come on, Sonny, get up. You don't have to..."

"Shh. For once, shhh. I want to." Sonny opened the box to reveal a necklace that had multiple diamonds on it. "One stone for each of our children and one stone for us...this is to show you that I know what it took for us to get here...that I know you could have not given me this chance, that I could have lost you forever because I pushed you away...it's to remind you that the most important thing in my world is always going to be what these stones represent...our kids and us. Will you wear this and...tell me we have a real shot this time."

_**(So here I am with open arms**_

_**  
Hoping you'll see  
what your love means to me  
Open arms)**_

She blinked, trying to hold the tears back, but it didn't work. Alexis started crying and gasping for air.

Sonny's eyes got wide and he went to search for a paper bag. He found one and came back. "Breathe."

"I ..." she took the bag. "I thought..."

"Just breathe."

"But I was..."

He looked right into her eyes. "You got to breath first, then talk. It don't work the other way around."

She started to calm down and finally said, "I was sure I was done with that hyperventilating stuff."

"Not so much."

"No, not so much when you are around, I suppose." Alexis smiled. She stood up and took his hands in hers, leaning her forehead against his.

(_**And now that you've come back  
turned night into day.  
I need you to stay.)**_

"You know," Alexis said "you don't have to buy me anything or take me anywhere to show me how you feel. Just be honest with me and be by my side when I need you the most- which, I'll admit, will probably be all the time. Just be with me and I will believe in us."

Slowly, he kissed her, letting even more of his heart show in that moment than he had before. A tear slid down her cheek when he pulled away.

"The necklace is beautiful. I love it. Thank you."

"No, thank you, Alexis. I probably gave you every reason in the world to not trust me...to think I would put my job or some other woman before you...but you're still here right now. You use reason for everything, logic...but if you did that this time we wouldn't be together...so thanks for...taking the risk."

"You're worth it."

His eyes closed. He let out a long breath. She cupped his cheeks and planted soft kisses all around his mouth then directly on his lips. "Our love is worth it," Alexis added.

_**(So now I come to you with open arms.**_

_**  
Nothing to hide,  
believe what I say.**_

_**  
So here I am with open arms.**_

_**  
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me.  
Open arms)  
**_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

The overwhelming feeling that permeated Sonny Corinthos childhood was the desire to want more- more cash, more freedom, more power, more and more and more.

But not more love. His mother's love was so great that he never needed more of that emotion...until she was gone to her grave way too early. Then love is the one thing he needed, to such a point that Sonny was sure he would never fill the endless well inside of himself.

So instead he accumulated what he could- he got the money, the cars, the fancy penthouse, the business empire, the people who called him _Sir_ and shivered when he passed by. He got everything but still felt empty, only catching glimpses of that elusive and always fleeting thing called unconditional love until he became a father. His children gave him that, and it started to fill up the damaged places inside of him, but still there was always an ache...a need for her, for Alexis, to forgive all his mistakes, to overlook all his faults, to want him even if that meant he couldn't change into someone safer, saner, or perfect. He thought that need, for her and for a love that could heal, would always go unfulfilled.

But now, as he rode in the backseat of his limo with Alexis as they returned from New York City, Sonny could finally say he felt whole again. He felt complete.

He reached out his hand and she took it, giving him a small smile as she searched his eyes.

"So," Alexis said, dragging out the word "we don't have to tell people right away, if you don't want to. In fact, maybe that would be best, you know, for all parties involved...especially Kristina...because there is really nothing worse you can do than get a kid's hopes up about having an ideal family unit and then dash them later...what do you think?"

"I'm not keeping us a secret."

"Are you sure that the best course of action?"

"Alexis, come on. You're trying to play the odds..."

"Not really."

"Hedge your bets."

"No."

"Yeah, you are. You're back to trying to figure out a way to minimize the fallout if this all goes to hell."

He knew what she was trying to do and there was no way he would let her pull that. Because if they didn't do this right it might not last, and more than anything else, more than his own sanity or health, he needed them to last.

Alexis admitted, "In my family, contingency plans are a requirement. We are taught how to make them before we learn how to spell or count."

"Well, you don't need one this time. Not for you or me or our kids. We don't have to figure out how to survive this if it doesn't last...cause...it's gonna last. It will."

Nodding his head, Sonny added, "I know that."

He leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, "Alexis, tell me you believe me...tell me you believe in us..."

XXXXXXXXX

His breath was warm against her skin causing her to shiver. She found it amazing that her heart could speed up to this degree and still function properly. He made her feel out of control, but also taken care of and protected. She was used to doing that for herself though, it would take a while to accept she was finally not on her own anymore.

Sonny kissed her neck then whispered, "Tell me you have faith in me. Tell me this is it...that nothing could make you leave me..."

She moved back slightly so she could look in his eyes. "I didn't think I could- that we could- get back here. I thought this was lost forever to me...like my sister, like Stefan, like so many people and things and dreams...but here we are. Here you are...looking at me like I'm..." tears filled her eyes and made her voice thicker "everything you ever wanted."

"You are."

Alexis swallowed. "Maybe I am insane for believing that..."

"Don't doubt me," he warned. "It will risk everything if we start doing that to each other..."

"That's the thing, Sonny. I_ don't _doubt you. It might not be logical but I don't care. I'm in love with you and I'm not ever going to walk away from you again. I like to control things and you like to control things but neither of us can control this: we need to be together for life to make any bit of sense at all. So...yeah, you're right. Lets not keep this a secret. Though," she smiled "I don't think this bodes well for me becoming District Attorney ever again but," she chuckled "I think I can live with that just fine. Maybe it is about time for me to open my own private practice anyway."

"I know plenty of people who are always in need of good legal representation," he joked "if you don't mind dealing with gangsters."

"Does it look like I mind?" she asked right before kissing him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Several Months Later- Fall of 2007**

Alexis woke up around 5 am. She looked around the bedroom of the villa they were staying in and smiled. They had decided to take the whole family on their honeymoon and ended up in the wine country in Italy that Alexis had wanted to one day visit with Sonny.

When they went to bed the night before it was just her and Sonny wrapped up in each other's arms. But in the middle of the night he must have gotten up to take care of Molly and she now lay between them in the bed. Kristina and Morgan were sprawled out at the end of the bed, their limbs flung out wildly. There was a settee near the window and there lay Micheal with a blanket over him, snoring.

She couldn't help but smile. They were all here and safe and happy. If you asked her years before, when her daughter and these boys were kidnaped, if she ever thought they would all be this content again she would have said no. Because some scars you never recover from. But sometimes you do. They had. They made it.

Alexis crawled out of bed and slid a silk robe over her nightgown.

Sonny found her in the living room a half hour later. She was standing with the french doors open watching the sun come up.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Kissing her neck, he said "Good morning, wife."

"Mmm. Morning." On her finger she wore an antique gold band.

Alexis turned her head and Sonny kissed her. She brought her hand up to cradle the side of his face.

At that moment she remembered what it felt like the first time she was brought to the Cassadine island in Greece as a child. She had never been more alone before. She was scared, back then, that she would never belong to anyone. Now, more than ever before, she belonged to this family, to this man, to the future they were planning together. Finally she has come to the place she was afraid as a child to even hope for.

As they watched the sun rise over the countryside, Sonny asked "What do you want to do today?"

"Think up baby names."

"What?" His features stilled. Then he smiled "What did you just say, counselor?"

"Well, since it has been known for us to take some time to work out our negotiations," Alexis said, smiling back at him "I just thought we should get going because we only have about seven and half more months..."

"We're having a baby?" His voice was pure excitement. "How long have you known? Was it safe to fly over here? How could you hold out on me?"

"I"ve known a day. Its safe to fly before your third trimester and I held out, as you put it, cause I couldn't see you the night before the ceremony and couldn't tell you inside of a church full of people and then we were at the reception, and then on the plane and then getting settled in and then..."

"Breathe."

She took a few calming breaths. "You're happy, right? This is probably going to be our last child, not that we don't have enough already but can you ever really have enough, can you? You _are _happy, right?"

"Am I happy?" He laughed and kissed her. "Come on, you know I'm thrilled."

Sonny placed his hand on her stomach and said "A boxer. Very tough. Street smart. Yep, I can tell already."

She laughed. "I was thinking a future Harvard graduate who double majors in law and medicine."

"We'll let him decide, I guess."

"Him?"

"Oh, you're right, counselor. Boxers can be girls these days. Okay, we'll let her choose college or the ring. But, just so you know, I have a way of getting what I want..."

She slid close to him. "You don't say?"

Sonny smiled, flashing his dimples at her and making her heart flip flop and her breathing become erratic. How could he still pull that off , years after she first met him? She didn't know but his affect on her only grew more intense with each passing day. He finally had her convinced she was the one he wanted, and she finally had him convinced that she found him more than worthy of her love. In fact, Alexis was sure, he was the only man on the planet who was.

She leaned over and kissed him. He started to slide her robe from her shoulder.

"Shower?" she asked, thinking they needed privacy from the children, not to mention the bodygaurds that lurked outside in the shadows on lookout for any threat to this family.

"Shower," he agreed.

She led him there, with a smile on her face that no one else in the world ever saw because it only graced her lips when Alexis was alone with Sonny, and making love to the man who held her heart in his hand and had for over five years now. There wasn't any doubt it her mind that this time neither of them would be foolish enough to walk away again.

**THE END**

_Thanks so much for taking time to read this. I would like to write more Sexis but I can't say that, at this point, the muse really has any ideas. So we will see, I suppose. _

_Its been a great ride getting to know this couple better and to tell one version of their love story._

Sara


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